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[Writing task 1] - Household income and spending on food and clothes in UK

vungocf1417 1 / -  
Feb 8, 2021   #1

charts and table - analyse the information provided

The table provides the amount one family in a city in the UK averagely earns and their specific expenditures on food and clothes in 2010 and 2013. And the pie charts give detailed comparison of spending on five main elements in the two given years.

It is easy to comprehend that although household income notably decreased by $4000, the budget allocated for eating and wearing slightly expanded. Spending on food dominantly accounted for more than three quarters in the two given years while expenditures on clothes took up a modest portion and was cut off roughly by half in 2013.

An interesting contrast can be seen in eatable products from plants and animals. Although in 2010 meat and fish cost the city's residents most with 20% spending, the figure drastically fell by 10% and ranked last among food and beverages in 2013. While fruits and vegetables' share rose significantly from a fifth to a third of total expense in two years and gained the dominant portion.

The rest of the expenditures on dairy products and other food and drinks did not witness considerable changes. Food from milk was consumed with 15% of spending in 2010 and rose to 10% in 2013 and other products remained unchanged with 18% over two years.

Thanks in advance for your feedback! <3

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3353  
Feb 9, 2021   #2
You cannot start a sentence with a conjunction. That means, starting the second sentence in the summary paragraph with the said word will result in a GRA deduction for you. Conjunctions are used to connect ideas in a sentence. Kindly review the rules of conjunction usage before you start your next practice test. There is no clear trending statement being presented in any part of your essay. Since the trending statement is a required part of this type of presentation, you should make sure that it is easily identifiable and placed in a prominent part of the presentation, usually as a part of the summary overview.

Your paragraphs are informative. However, the sentences are difficult to follow. This will affect your GRA score due to the stress that reading your sentences produces. The way to avoid that is simple. Cut the sentences short. Follow the appropriate simple and complex presentation rules per paragraph. Just because you combine ideas in a presentation, and you write extremely long sentences, does not mean that you are properly applying the English writing rules. In fact, you are in non-compliance with the rules because of the run-on presentation of your paragraphs. That means, you will receive additional deductions in the GRA and C&C sections. You must focus on the clarity of the information provided. You do that by separating the idea presentations as required.
Linhmely 1 / 2  
Feb 9, 2021   #3
Well your overview part should not include any number. And my teacher told me to always begin the overview part with " Overall" to let the examiner keep track of what you are writing.
Crazy Snake 2 / 6  
Feb 10, 2021   #4
Because the first paragraph is always the introduction which has a function to make readers know overviews of the articles. Therefore, I consider that listing out 5 main elements is better.
lan82 2 / 4  
Feb 15, 2021   #5
As far as I am concerned , in the last sentence of the 3rd paragraph, "while" is used with"," to join two sentences, so you cannot use "while" like that. You could use adverb such as Moreover and Furthermore

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