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The "housing" category in United States had higher proportion of expenditure than others


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

A Comparison of the proportion of five main subjects in expenditures in four different countries, covered by percent in 2009 is revealed in the bar chart. Overall, it is immediately apparent that "housing" category in United States was higher proportion of expenditure than others and the percentage of expenditure due to "health care" subject in the United Kingdom was smaller than others in 2009.

To begin with, there were two aspects that had percentage of expenditure at under 8 percent in each countries. Firstly, Canada and Japan had similar of proportion of "health care" category at four percent. Besides, the percentage of expenditure because of "health care" in The United States was four times higher than in The United Kingdom (2 %). After that, "clothing" category in Japan and The United States had similar proportion at four percent. Then, Canada that had the percentage of expenditure was one percent greater than in The United Kingdom (six percent).

On the other hand, there were three categories that had percentage of expenditure bigger than others. Firstly, the proportion of expenditure due to food in Japan was higher than others at 23 percent and it was followed by The United Kingdom, Canada and The United States at 20, 15 and 14 percent respectively. After that, the percentage of "housing" category in The United States was greater than others at 26 percent also Canada and Japan just had gap one percent at 21 and 22 percent particularly. Besides, the Canada was bigger than others at 20 percent. In contrast, others just had the proportion of "transportation" category at under 18 percent.


  • question

nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hello Willy!
Allow me to give you some suggestions :)

... in United States was higherthe highest proportion of

Besides, the percentage of expenditure because of " health care" in The United States was ...

Then, Canada that had (...) in The United Kingdom (six percent)
Unclear sentence, you may check it again.

Firstly, Canada and Japan had ...
Firstly, the proportion of expenditure ...
Avoid to explain something by using same style of sentences.

After thatThus , the percentage of "housing" category ...

Instead of using those words repetitively, I suggest you these similar words.
Food = Groceries
Housing = Accommodation
Clothing = Dress needs

Hope it helps you :)
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 30, 2016   #3
Hi Wily, I would like to share a few suggestions for you to improve this analysis.

- A Comparison of the proportion ofbetween five
- main subjects in expendituressubjects in four different countries,
- covered by percent in 2009 and is measured in percentage is revealed in ...
- Overall, it is immediately apparent that the "housing"
- washas higher proportion of
- expenditures than others ...
- wasis smaller than ...

- ... were two aspects that had percentage offor this expenditure at ...
- in each countriescountry .
- Firstly , Canada and Japan had similar of
- proportion offor the "health care" category
- After that, "clothing"The clothing category in
- Then, Canada that had the percentage
- of expenditure wasthat is one percent
- greater than in The United Kingdom at 6%(six percent) .

There you have it Wily, one thing that you need to work with in your sentence construction is the tenses, plural and singular, the unit of measurement that you use should also be observed from the beginning of the analysis until the end.


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