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There are some huge gaps between male and female regarding teaching - IELTS


Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 19, 2015   #1
The graph chart provides a breakdown information of the six distinguishable types of educational setting, in the UK in 2010. The chart classified teachers in both genders and measured in percentage.

It is noticeable that there are some huge gaps between male and female regarding teaching.

A closer look at the data reveal that the female teachers preferred Nursery/Pre-school, the primary school and the secondary school. If the story is about the Nursery, females were almost the only type of teacher, and thus, 98% out of 100%. The primary school had the similar story, the vast majority teachers were females. The percentage of the female teachers were 95%, whilst the rest was obviously male's one, a 90% difference. Secondary school, female teachers were still leading with its 56% and the male teachers took the rest 46%. The college had both genders, each with 50%.

Male possessed highest percentage in the private training institute and the university. The first place, which is the private training institute contained more than half male teachers. The percent was 56 compared to the female's roughly 46%. In the university, it is conspicuous that men outnumbered female. This is because 70 % teachers in the university were male, whereas 30 % was the percentage of the female teachers.



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Feb 19, 2015   #2
It is noticeable that there are some huge gaps between male and female regarding teaching.

This overview has covered all the data given. However, this needs more than a sentence. Always remember to vary your sentence with the complex one. Let's give a try:

It is clear that the number of teachers in College was expressed as the same percentage. Although the dominant man teachers were the largest in the group of University, woman teachers were more likely to teach in Nursery/Pre-school and Primary school.
autumn_waltz 8 / 14 2  
Mar 2, 2015   #3
A closer look at the data reveals

The primary school had the similar story, the vast majority teachers were females.
I suggest replacing "story" by more formal words.
"The primary school had the similar pattern "
or
"the primary school showed the similar tendency "

Also, you need to modify the second part of the sentence. You may place a semicolon:
The primary school had the similar story; the vast majority of teachers were females.
or
The primary school had the similar story, with the vast majority of teachers being females.
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Mar 2, 2015   #4
I don't worry about the body of your paragraph. however, in the introduction, you need to tell about what the graph stands out/tells? and how about the overall of this graph? even you haven't mentioned about the overall. I think general view/overview is the important one in IELTS essay task 1.

Good Luck!


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