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IELTS ESSAY TASK 2, it is about how human action can damage the environment.

malugesteira 1 / 1  
Feb 12, 2021   #1
If anybody is able to help me with this IELTS essay I will be forever thankfull!!!

Human impact on the environment

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity.
What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity?
What solutions can you suggest?

It is a well know fact that mankind has had a major influence on nature since the beginnings of civilazation. However, it was only the 70's that global superpowers brought this issue to daylight, informing that some drastic mesures should be taken in order to preserve our fauna and flora. This essay will discuss the essential causes of this problem and propose some solutions.

Opening with the fauna we can mention the deforestation process, which in order to build cities and structures for the growing population took animals out of their natural habit, leading to not only a lack of balence in the food chain, but also the deaths of many animals that couldnt adapt to new environments. Furthermore, we can also mention the practice of hunting, that for a long period of time was considered a noble activity, causing the vanishment of many importante species.

When it comes to the maintence of flora, deforestation is also a notable concern since a big portion forests have been withdrawn from existence, a good illustration of this is the Amazon, also known as the "air lungs of the world", which nowadays has way less green area than fifth years ago, mainly because of agriculture and cattle-raising. The increase of global temperatures caused by pollution i also a worrying matter for ambientalists, since this has lead to many fires in inumerous parts of the world, jeopordizing all kinds of life forms.

Personally, I think that iniciatives that seek the reduction of air pollution, all types of waste and the removal of plant/tree layers, such as the Paris climate agrement should be enconreged worldwiderly. Moreover, the governaments must work along with international environmental
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,742 3794  
Feb 13, 2021   #2
Your TA will fail in the preliminary scoring portion because you have not used the original topic presentation in your restatement. Your first 3 sentences change the focus of the discussion from the original, which is that human beings are the cause of extinction... Read your restatement and compare it to the original. You should see that the topics do not share any commonality whatsoever in the presentation. As such, your response has become unrelated to the original topic. More so, because you did not respond directly to the questions by presenting a proper thesis sentence and discussion subjects for your 2 reasoning paragraphs. This does not reflect effective English comprehension skills on your part. It shows that you have none.

You are over discussing this essay by not properly using one paragraph for problems and one for solutions. Your solution paragraph cannot be presented as the concluding paragraph because the essay requires a summary conclusion for its presentation. So you discussed the essay, stayed within the word count, but failed to properly utilize the discussion format as indicated.
coheny 1 / 4  
Feb 13, 2021   #3
In the first sentence, you have to write 'well-know', not the 'well-know'

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