IELTS - nowadays human activities are influenced by computer use; computers are more of a hindrance?

Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

Computer is one of modern technology inventions that useful for human life. People use computer particularly for work, study, even for communication. However, many people argue that computer more give obstacle than a help in social life. Other sides believe that it becomes prominent thing, and they cannot do anything without that device. However, I strongly believe that computer can influence society, and people's lives have already been controlled by device.

Nowadays, computer can affect human life in different manners which these can be give positive or negative impact especially in society. Mediabank survey, for instance, show that Australian's adults spend average nine hours a day stay in front of computer. It is clear that adults more prefer spend the amount of their time to play computer than to socialize with their family and friends. As a result this situation can make relationship with family or friends deteriorate.

However, using computer can make people easier to complete their work. Businessmen, for example, use computer device to presentation or communication with their colleagues. Communication by feature-computer such as email and internet help busy businessmen to make deal with relation even in different country. This is due to using computer more efficient and, many workers cannot do more in work without computer.

In conclusion, in era technology like this age, computer becomes important thing in human life. Every day, people cannot pass the day without stay in front of computer or using it. This situation becomes lifestyle habits, and nowadays human activities are influenced by computer use.

This essay is good. However, this contains grammar issues affecting the flow of the sentences.
A closer look at this:


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Computer is a modern device that is useful for human life.


More specifically, people use computer for work, study, and communication


Why do you say so? This is a vague outline

I would argue that this modern device has been a major hindrance to some people. A study conducted by Mediabank shows that majority of Australian adults do not socialize with their families and friends as much as they used to, due to the fact that they spend almost nine hours a day dealing with computers as to produce efficient time in working. As it can be seen from the example, the idea that computers could be a help has been neglected.