Human consumerism leads to a huge debt

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and cannot afford.
What are the reasons for this behaviour?
What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Financial issue is highly correlated with consumerism. These days, many people tend to buy unnecessary, unaffordable things which leads to a huge debt. In my opinion, major causes which lead to this problem are advertisement and social status. A big effort is needed to tackle and prevent people get into debt by their own bad habit in shopping.

Human consumerism is strongly influenced by internal and external factors. First of all, most people have a strong desire to be considered that they are belong to high social status in their community. They believe that buying luxury goods will help them to be seen as wealthy people so that they will get more respect from their peers. However, some of them push themselves to purchase such things by borrowing a huge amount of money either from other people or banks. Secondly, abundant advertisement in this digitalized era always succeed to persuade people to buy unnecessary things. This case fuels people consumerism behavior so that they will be easier getting into debt.

Some solutions can be suggested to diminish this kind of bad behaviour. From personal scale, each person must have self-control to differ their needs and desire. People should restrict their purchase on things they do not need although they have a strong desire to own such items. They should buy goods which are really needed for their lives. Secondly, stakeholders also have to take action to alleviate this case. They must avoid taking benefits from human consumerism. TV agencies, for instance, should restrict the number of advertisements in their shows so that viewer do not excessively exposed to tempting offers of unnecessary items. Although advertisements are main source of money in television industry, they are dangerously influence people tendency to purchase unaffordable things. Overall, if both societies and stakeholders make a huge effort to fight consumerism, the problem of huge debt relating to shopping habit can be avoided.

In conclusion, it is clear that a huge debt for unnecessary shopping is caused by internal and external factors. People's desire to gain higher social status and abundant advertisement are the two major causes. To tackle this problem, both individuals and stakeholders have to control those factors which lead to consumerism.

Angga, you essay is well-written and impressive. You are very informative and clear in yielding some transitive words to address the reader smoothly, which will not escape the attention of the examiner. Amidst all of that, I also found minor grammatical mistakes in which it is also your plus point to reach a higher band score in IELTS Task 2. However, there is no perfect writing, I notice that your second body paragraph is a little bit too bulky. Perhaps, you can decrease one or two sentence, and then put it in your conclusion, because your conclusion still needs one more sentence regarding to recommendation, hopes, or fears in the future. Now, for a breakdown of your grammatical errors, with corrections applied.


that they belong


abundant advertisements in this digital era always succeed

So, good work on the more complex vocabulary and kudos for a well developed report. I hope to see more enhancement with your upcoming essays. :)

- Financial issues is highly
- unaffordableexpensive things
- one of the major causes
- whichthat leads to this problem
- people to get into debt
- byfrom their own

- they are belong to a higher social status
- to be seenknown as wealthy people soin order to gain
- that they will get more respect from their peers.
- to purchase such things by
- SecondlyNext ,
- abundant advertisementhuge advertising in this
- so that they will be easier gettingthat ultimately gets people into debt.

Hi Angga, I made a few corrections on your essay, I hope they are useful enough to re-write the revised version of your essay. What I would like you to focus on is your grammar as well as the construction of the sentences.