Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

ESSAY- What can human being do to help stop global warming?

Robyn_Chau 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2018   #1

What are the remedies for global warming?

What can human being do to help stop global warming?
The past century seems to have witnessed significant efforts in finding effective approaches for resolving global warming phenomenon. In this essay, I intend to identify three primary solutions for this issue.

To begin with, it is an irrefutable fact decelerating the pace of global warming goes hand in hand with the need of minimizing carbon emission. In other words, replacing fossil fuels with environmentally friendly sources of energy, increasing taxes on producing goods that releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as well as prohibiting burning garbage would constitute a good first step.

Furthermore, since forests play a crucially important role in the ecosystem, another fundamental key to this worldwide issue is to maintain and multiply the number of trees around the globe. Despite the necessity of deforestation and industrial land, there would likely be a catastrophe if a vast amount of plants disappeared.

Last and most importantly, though, is in order to efficiently protect the environment, public awareness should be heightened by not only generations of activists but government. As a result of a point that most conservational campaigns require a deep understanding of how pivotal the environment means, educating children and propagating people around us are top priorities. Additionally, the more people realize their negative influences on the surroundings, the more they are willing to take action.

To conclude, I believe this is clearly a difficulty of such complexity that it is unlikely to be solved in a short term. Nevertheless, by joining together, I have confidence that the measure outlined above would remedy this dire problem.
PaulthePhoenix 4 / 16  
Aug 1, 2018   #2
Hi Chau
You clearly show a good lexical resource in your essay. The grammar is at an acceptable level but you certainly can try more complex structure and sentences. The structure is clearly shown and easy to follow.

Your essay, however, is under developed a little bit in idea construction. You should dig deeper in the paragraphs for a through analysis. For example, just my suggestion, in paragraph 1, it'sfollowed by a great opening sentence, you can write like:

"One method for the reduction is the replacement of fossil fuels with renewable energy source. The exhaust from automobile is renowned as the main source of air pollution therefore, I believe that a cleaner atmosphere can only be possible if electric cars are utilized to its bes potential. The government could play a roles by imposing taxes on goods that releases carbon dioxide into the environment. As a result, this will encourage people to consume environment-friendly product."

Again for paragragh 2 and 3, expand it a little bit more. Personally, I prefer to write 2 paragraghs but with in depth analysis rather than 3. You should also beware of over-using the linking words (To begin with, Furthermore, As a result, etc...) they are good if you use the right amount but putting it in every sentence make the essay become like a formula not really attractive to read.

Hope that helps
Keep it up, Chau.
OP Robyn_Chau 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2018   #3
@PaulthePhoenix Thank you so much! I'll take those into consideration.

Home / Writing Feedback / ESSAY- What can human being do to help stop global warming?