Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge


sfiza 17 / 28  
Sep 11, 2017   #1
Some people think that human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge. Others argue that this underestimate the achievement of ancient cultures, and overvalues our achievements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

modern vs ancient culture



The modern world is more sophisticated than the ancient world. While this statement is commonly believed by some people, others don't agree .I realize that the feat of ancient is basis of current developments and globe with high-technology leads human race today.

People of ancient cultures made a numerous innovations and discoveries .Using fire and making languages is remarkable of them. Even the technology to build the Pyramids of Egypt is landmark in the present world. This analogy applies to all facilities enjoyed by the current culture. Admittedly, People had the knowledge they needed to understand and deal with their world in the past. However; one should not forget that whatever that is available today is actually a progressive evolution of what was showed in the past.

It is fact that the contemporary world has witnessed technological advancement. These are seen in almost all facets of life which directly or indirectly benefit the mankind. For instance, Robots are employed to perform minor surgical procedures and treatments in the medical field that is not possible in the past , Such developments make people think that current generation is more gifted than and superior to people of the past.

To conclude, earlier developments become a stepping stone for current generation. This trend induces tremendous modernism for human. Although people are in the peak of human civilization now with hi-tech, I feel that the establishment of this civil world is based on the inventions and discoveries of yesterday.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Sep 11, 2017   #2
Fiza, your essay does not discuss the original prompt requirements at all. Your opening paraphrase failed to represent the proper discussion and instructions, and did not offer anything near the original information in its presentation. You have failed to get a passing score in terms of Task Accuracy and as such, have automatically failed the test. The failure is due to the wrong interpretation of the prompt requirements, as displayed in your faulty opening paragraph. A more accurate representation of the discussion is:

There is a historical belief that the achievements of man have been based upon a journey of knowledge. The belief that man came from ignorance and later on achieved knowledge has been opposed by those who deem it an underestimation of the historical contributions coming from ancient civilizations. They are of the opinion that the intellectual achievements of man has been given undue importance in the discussion. This essay will shed further light upon the two sets of beliefs along with my personal opinion regarding the topic.

The belief that man has achieved things based on knowledge is said to be supported by....

However, the fact that ancient man did make notable contributions towards the modern achievements of man...

Based upon these two discussions, my personal opinion is that...

In the end, the value of ancient man's contributions and the development of man's intellect...


The presentation above is my suggestion as to how you could have best discussed the essay. The manner of discussion I used clearly indicates the position of each opinion and allows for the development of your personal opinion, prior to the presentation of the summarized discussion. In this format, you stand to get a better chance at a higher than average passing score. Your discussion however, did not discuss the essay the essay in the required manner and would not have received a passing score because of the mistake in your discussion topic and presentation.
OP sfiza 17 / 28  
Sep 11, 2017   #3
@Holt

thanks a lot dear !! your correction really a lot to me. :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳