Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Human impact gives the bigger influence as the threat to plant life rather than the natural events.


ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Oct 27, 2016   #1
Writing IELTS Task 1 - The number of extinctions of plant and animal species

The line graph presents the number of extinctions of plant and animal species in tropical forests between 2000 and 2100, while the factors causing plant life extinction are illustrated in the pie chart. Overall, the peak of plant and animal species extinction will happen in 2060. Then, human impact gives the bigger influence as the threat to plant life rather than the natural events.

From 2000 to today, almost 10,000 per million plant and animal species are extinct. This number will more and more increase sharply, and it is estimated reaching in peak in 2060 at 50,000 per million species. This fantastic number, however, will experience a gradual decrease in 2060 onwards to less than 30,000 per million species in 2100.

Specifically for plant life, the biggest threat causing the extinction comes from human impact which the percentage is fivefold bigger than natural event factors. Agriculture becomes the highest percentage affecting the plant extinction as much as 18.7 percent. Two other sectors which give much influence to the plant life are harvesting at 14.4 percent and development at 10.4 percent.



IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Oct 27, 2016   #2
Hi ashelarisa48. Here are my suggestions for you.

... number of extinctions of plant and animal species in tropical forests

You can paraphrase the plant and animal to flora and fauna.

... animal species extinction will happen in 2060

this is talking about prediction. I suggest you to use "be predicted to" rather than "will"

Overall for your introductory paragraph, some keywords from the question can be paraphrased.

... and animal species arehave been extinct (use perfect tense because the event is not complete yet until now.) . This number will is predicted to more and more increase sharply,

I hope it can be useful for you.
Goodluck!


Home / Writing Feedback / Human impact gives the bigger influence as the threat to plant life rather than the natural events.