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With the humble attitude, we can earn the respect from others and relieve ourselves.; Toefl exam!


Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 18, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree:the world is busy and crowded,we should not expect people to be polite to others.

I was alarmed up by my phone,cleaned my face and rushed out of my house.I reached the bus station without a relief.There are already a lot of people waiting in there.Here came the bus.It was already overcrowded,but we try our best to get into the bus.We all knew the condition would not better even if we wait the next bus.I waited and waited and waited for my terminus.It was a long way to go,and i even go back to my dream,standing and tired.Suddenly,OOOOch! Someone step on my feet.It so hurt that barely can i hold my tears.Without showing a little regret,the guy get through the overcrowded car,and rush out without apology.

This case makes me wonder,as the world is busy and crowded,do we need to be polite to others?should we expect people to be polite to others? As for me,we should always be polite to others and forgive others impolite behaviors.

First,being polite makes our life simple and comfort. When you are consulting a person with some problems,you point out your question with a mild smile,look in his eyes and sometimes nod approvingly.He would appreciate your well-educated behavior and explain the problem clearly and concretely..Because of your respect to him ,he would be in good mood and thus you can have a good time talking with him.Respect is mutual. If you want people treat you nicely then you'd better treat people nicely.We can hardly imagine when we smile to a person and in return he insult you. We can never live alone in this busy and crowded city,so it is smart to be polite to others.

Second,forgiveness can relieve us.Don't trap in the plot that he step on your feet without apology. Sometimes people are just so busy that he doesn't even notice he hurts you.Forgiveness is an attitude to our life which can free us from blaming on other's faults to embrace the day we have. We have much better things to do in a day than cursing on other's mistakes. You can easily say sorry to your toe for the guy who hurt you then start your work and enjoy your day.

Taking into account of all factors listed above,I prefer to be polite to others and forgive others impolite behaviors.With this humble attitude, we can earn the respect from others and relieve ourselves.

Actually i do not think this is a valid issue.
I don't think i describe the busy morning vividly and accurately
I don't think my reasons are strong and concrete
there must be some improper sentences even though i try my hard to avoid
Thank you for your suggestions!

Gilchrist2014 3 / 8 1  
Sep 18, 2014   #2
if you could put the essay question up top it will give a better understand of your point of view. I love your use of imagery to give the reader a vivid image of your situation. I think you should try to take out the informal parts of it like "Don't trap in the plot that he step on your feet without apology" I thought that you shouldn't use. Also try to make your essay a little longer by adding facts on your own point of view. Overall I liked it
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Sep 19, 2014   #3
There arewere already a lot of people waiting in there.Here came the bus.It was already overcrowded,but we try tried our best to get into the bus

. We all knew the condition would not be better even if we wait the next bus.I waited and waited and waited for my terminus.It was a long way to go,and i even gowent back to my dream,standing and tired.Suddenly,OOOOch! Someone step on my feet.It so hurt that barely can i hold my tears.Without showing a little regret,the guy get got through the overcrowded car,and rush out without an apology.[/quote]

i got incorrect using of grammatical in the first paragraph. but overall i like your written.
anyway, i am not an expert one. good luck!
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 19, 2014   #4
Adam, you did an excellent job of using a personal experience to help explain your position regarding a topic. However, you failed to restate the prompt and your personal opinion about it at the end. I saw that you gave your stand as a separate sentence. You should bring that up to join the story in order to create more impact for your introduction. I would also like you to note some grammatical errors:

I was alarmed up by my phone,cleaned my face and rushed out of my house.I reached the bus station without a relief.There are already a lot of people waiting in there.Here came the bus.It was already overcrowded,but we try our best to get into the bus.We all knew the condition would not better even if we wait the next bus.I waited and waited and waited for my terminus.It was a long way to go,and i even go back to my dream,standing and tired.Suddenly,OOOOch! Someone step on my feet.It so hurt that barely can i hold my tears.Without showing a little regret,the guy get through the overcrowded car,and rush out without apology.

This case makes me wonder,as the world is busy and crowded,do we need to be polite to others?should we expect people to be polite to others? As for me,we should always be polite to others and forgive others impolite behaviors.

- My phone alarm woke me up. I got read to start my day and rushed out of my house, running to the bus station and hoping it would not be overcrowded yet again. That was too much to hope for. We piled into the bus worse than sardines in a can. Some of us were squished against the bus door, others stood on the steps. I was unlucky enough to stand before a holding pole when a passenger trying to rush past me stepped on my foot. Leaving me in excruciating pain. My shocked and painful reaction received no apology from the offender. Only a cold stare as the person rushed past. That got me to wonder, I believed that the person should have apologized to me but it seems like our busy lifestyle does not leave time for such acts of decency. Maybe, we should not expect people to be polite to others anymore?

- Note how I combined your story and the paraphrased thesis with your stand into one paragraph.

First,being polite makes our life simple and comfort. When you are consulting a person with some problems,you point out your question with a mild smile,look in his eyes and sometimes nod approvingly.He would appreciate your well-educated behavior and explain the problem clearly and concretely..Because of your respect to him ,he would be in good mood and thus you can have a good time talking with him.Respect is mutual. If you want people treat you nicely then you'd better treat people nicely.We can hardly imagine when we smile to a person and in return he insult you. We can never live alone in this busy and crowded city,so it is smart to be polite to others.

- Being polite to strangers when needed helps bring comfort and joy to a difficult situation such as the one that I was in when I rode the bus. A simple apology would have helped me feel better about being cooped up in such a cramped place, taking an uncomfortable ride with strangers. Politeness shows decency and the degree of social etiquette that a person was taught at home and at school. Unfortunately, good manners seem to be a dying lesson these days as such manners are now only seen in movies and TV shows of the past. Almost as if politeness were now simply a part of American history.

Second,forgiveness can relieve us.Don't trap in the plot that he step on your feet without apology. Sometimes people are just so busy that he doesn't even notice he hurts you.Forgiveness is an attitude to our life which can free us from blaming on other's faults to embrace the day we have. We have much better things to do in a day than cursing on other's mistakes. You can easily say sorry to your toe for the guy who hurt you then start your work and enjoy your day.

- An acknowledgement by way of apology of what happened would have allowed me to forgive the person who stepped on my foot. In return, the person would have been able to let me know that he did not intend to step on me. After all, we did not know each other. By doing so, he would have made a new friend on the bus instead of a new enemy. Granted that he was in a rush to get into a comfortable standing position on the bus, it would not have taken him a minute to blurt out "I'm sorry" before moving on. 2 seconds out of his busy life, that is all it would have taken for him to show the decent side of his personality. But he could not be bothered to do that.It seems that these days, it is no longer necessary nor expected of people to give and earn the respect of their peers.

Adam, since you told a story at the very beginning, all of your comments and explanations need to relate back to it every time. That is why I tried to show you with the revised paragraph suggestions. :-) You just need to develop a conclusion as relevant and strong as your introduction now.
OP Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 20, 2014   #5
Thank you! Dear pen!
I really appreciate your work.
but i am a little confused about your point.Should we expect politeness from people?!

So I try to write a conclusion,and expect your supervision.
We are educated to be a decent person since our childhood.However,in such a noisy world,a simple apology turns out not easy.Taking into account all factors list above,in spite of the benefits of politeness,we should not expect people to be polite to others in this noisy and crowded world.

I hope i understand your point completely,THANK YOU again!
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 21, 2014   #6
Adam, to be perfectly clear, yes, we should expect respect from other people just as we are expected by proper society to be polite to others. That has been the dictum of decency and respect for one another since time immemorial.

We are educated to be a decent person since our childhood.However,in such a noisy world,a simple apology turns out not easy.Taking into account all factors list above,in spite of the benefits of politeness,we should not expect people to be polite to others in this noisy and crowded world.

- Here is my take on your new conclusion: We are educated by our parents and our schools to be decent people from the time we are old enough to understand the meaning of the word no or when we fail to thank an elder for something nice they did for a child or someone younger in age. But as our lifestyles changed and the need to stay ahead of the pack became an overwhelming priority for some people, that simple act of decency, respecting others and knowing when and how to apologize has almost become a forgotten tradition these days. But there are other ways to show decency and an apology even in a rush. Stopping for a moment to help the person you stepped on or ask as you walk away "Are you ok?" whether you mean it or not makes the other person feel better and more forgiving towards the offender. Yes, we should still expect respect and decency from other people. That is simply what an educated and civilized society does so we should expect nothing less from one another.

I hope my suggested revision for the conclusion works for you :-)
OP Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 21, 2014   #7
Dear Pen.
Thank you again.Reading your issue is more than improving the skill of using English,but also challenging my thoughts.
we should expect respect from other people just as we are expected by proper society to be polite to others.
I have been totally convinced by this sentence.

Thank you again!


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