Adam, you did an excellent job of using a personal experience to help explain your position regarding a topic. However, you failed to restate the prompt and your personal opinion about it at the end. I saw that you gave your stand as a separate sentence. You should bring that up to join the story in order to create more impact for your introduction. I would also like you to note some grammatical errors:
I was alarmed up by my phone,cleaned my face and rushed out of my house.I reached the bus station without a relief.There are already a lot of people waiting in there.Here came the bus.It was already overcrowded,but we try our best to get into the bus.We all knew the condition would not better even if we wait the next bus.I waited and waited and waited for my terminus.It was a long way to go,and i even go back to my dream,standing and tired.Suddenly,OOOOch! Someone step on my feet.It so hurt that barely can i hold my tears.Without showing a little regret,the guy get through the overcrowded car,and rush out without apology.- My phone alarm woke me up. I got read to start my day and rushed out of my house, running to the bus station and hoping it would not be overcrowded yet again. That was too much to hope for. We piled into the bus worse than sardines in a can. Some of us were squished against the bus door, others stood on the steps. I was unlucky enough to stand before a holding pole when a passenger trying to rush past me stepped on my foot. Leaving me in excruciating pain. My shocked and painful reaction received no apology from the offender. Only a cold stare as the person rushed past. That got me to wonder, I believed that the person should have apologized to me but it seems like our busy lifestyle does not leave time for such acts of decency. Maybe, we should not expect people to be polite to others anymore?- Note how I combined your story and the paraphrased thesis with your stand into one paragraph.
This case makes me wonder,as the world is busy and crowded,do we need to be polite to others?should we expect people to be polite to others? As for me,we should always be polite to others and forgive others impolite behaviors.
First,being polite makes our life simple and comfort. When you are consulting a person with some problems,you point out your question with a mild smile,look in his eyes and sometimes nod approvingly.He would appreciate your well-educated behavior and explain the problem clearly and concretely..Because of your respect to him ,he would be in good mood and thus you can have a good time talking with him.Respect is mutual. If you want people treat you nicely then you'd better treat people nicely.We can hardly imagine when we smile to a person and in return he insult you. We can never live alone in this busy and crowded city,so it is smart to be polite to others.- Being polite to strangers when needed helps bring comfort and joy to a difficult situation such as the one that I was in when I rode the bus. A simple apology would have helped me feel better about being cooped up in such a cramped place, taking an uncomfortable ride with strangers. Politeness shows decency and the degree of social etiquette that a person was taught at home and at school. Unfortunately, good manners seem to be a dying lesson these days as such manners are now only seen in movies and TV shows of the past. Almost as if politeness were now simply a part of American history.
Second,forgiveness can relieve us.Don't trap in the plot that he step on your feet without apology. Sometimes people are just so busy that he doesn't even notice he hurts you.Forgiveness is an attitude to our life which can free us from blaming on other's faults to embrace the day we have. We have much better things to do in a day than cursing on other's mistakes. You can easily say sorry to your toe for the guy who hurt you then start your work and enjoy your day.- An acknowledgement by way of apology of what happened would have allowed me to forgive the person who stepped on my foot. In return, the person would have been able to let me know that he did not intend to step on me. After all, we did not know each other. By doing so, he would have made a new friend on the bus instead of a new enemy. Granted that he was in a rush to get into a comfortable standing position on the bus, it would not have taken him a minute to blurt out "I'm sorry" before moving on. 2 seconds out of his busy life, that is all it would have taken for him to show the decent side of his personality. But he could not be bothered to do that.It seems that these days, it is no longer necessary nor expected of people to give and earn the respect of their peers.Adam, since you told a story at the very beginning, all of your comments and explanations need to relate back to it every time. That is why I tried to show you with the revised paragraph suggestions. :-) You just need to develop a conclusion as relevant and strong as your introduction now.