Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Toefl IBT: "attending college or university is required in our life"


Janet0928 2 / 1  
Feb 10, 2011   #1
Why do I think people attend college or univeristy? It is assumed that the anser is related to gaining knowledge and more survival skills to society. However, I think that attending college or university is required in our life. There are three reasons presented as follows.

First, it is in terms of increasing the ability that we need to attend college or university to learn different subjects and knowledge. For example, when I need to find a job, I have to read many books to answer the questions that interviewer may ask, hleping me to handle many unexpected questions. That is, not only can we enhance ourselves in many challenges, but also we can well-prepared in different situations.

Second, it is in terms of fulfilling our life that many special experiences can be generated in college or university. In other words, I suggest people intended to gain these value experiences need to join in many clubs and competitions. For instance, these places are like the small society before we heading to real society jungle. As a result, only if we attend English club and Stock market club, can we learn more intensive Engligh and stock strategy from these process.

Third, it is in terms of positive personality that the people in college or university can help us to know how to deal with relationship between different people and colors. Besides, the peer pressure can let us know the basic manners and regulations. Moreover, if we face the problem with our friends or even with professors, can we know many aspects to solve it positively. In fact, we can brainstorming when it comes to a bad situations.

To sum up, I think that people attending college or university for several reasons, among them increasing the ability to society and work, fulfilling our life through school life, and having positive personality with our friends.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 18, 2011   #2
In other words, I suggest people intending to gain these valuable experiences need to join in many clubs and competitions.

For instance, these places are like the small society before we heading before we creates the jungle of large society. to real society jungle. I don't know if I corrected this in a good way. Does it seem okay this way?

... know how to deal with relationships among colorful, diverse groups of people. and colors.

Besides, the peer pressure can let us know the basic manners and regulations. ---I don't know what you mean so say here. Peer pressure might not be the best term to use.

Great job! Keep practicing; you have a lot of wisdom, I think. Your English is almost perfect, but a few mistakes remain.
OP Janet0928 2 / 1  
Feb 21, 2011   #3
Hi Susan,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice!
I think that I can't get rid of the Chinese thinking in my writing...ha...

I'll keep writing!

Janet,


Home / Writing Feedback / Toefl IBT: "attending college or university is required in our life"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳