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TOEFL iBT: Integrated Essay, The win-win negotiating

Misius 4 / 12 3  
Apr 13, 2013   #1
This is an integrated essay and since I can't provide the materials, I would be grateful for comments on grammar and logic. Thank you in advance!

Essay: According to the passage a win-win negotiating is a deal after which both sides get something valuable for them. For example, in the case study both the software engineer and the multinational corporation minimized their risks and increased their profits, furthermore, Tony started his own company and the corporation got highly successful game.

There are several points that are crucial during the negotiating. Firstly, both parties involved should be willing to listen to and consider the other party's proposal. In the case about the computer game Tony was not happy with the first offer of the computer company so he made his own proposal which was more profitable for him. Instead, the company offered him a different share in the future profit which was finally accepted.

Secondly, some variants could not be considered because they are definitely not profitable for one of the sides. In this case both parties should work on other options to negotiate on.

In addition, this approach can change the way that both parties feel about each other. One side doesn't think of the other side as of the adversary which really helps to work together for one goal. Moreover, win-win negotiating can be considered as working in one team. Both Tony and a company did their best to make this game successful and profitable. They worked as colleagues, not as opposite sides.
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Apr 14, 2013   #2
get something valuable for them

... themselves.

There are several points that are crucial during the negotiating


Both Tony and company

"the" will be used in this place.
you write well but grammar lies as a bit weak side of yours. otherwise.. you go best. try wordpad (microsoft) where it underlines grammatical mistakes in green... spells in red. that can help you off to perfection in many other fields as well such as strength and sense of sentence...!!!
OP Misius 4 / 12 3  
Apr 14, 2013   #3
Thank you very much for your reply!
Actually I am a bit surprized about your comment on my grammar because I was worrying most about the proper use of vocabulary and kind of logical connections. I have always considered grammar to be one of my strong sides.

I use Microsoft Word and in this essay it didn't underline a word. Neither in red, nor in green. But, once more, thanks for an advice!
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Apr 15, 2013   #4
okay... then thats certainly a mistake in my observation. and thats obvious because i myself have no good strength at english... that was weak perception overall from my side :)

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