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Idea of going abroad for university study is an exciting prospect for many people


chinkybehl22 10 / 25 4  
Nov 15, 2017   #1
TOPIC:- The idea of going abroad for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it probably better to stay at home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

perspective of attending a school overseas



Nowadays, many students go abroad for higher studies. They consider it a lucrative opportunity due to the several benefits attached to it. However, there are a few who prefer to stick to their native country because of the unavoidable challenges in terms of varied lifestyle and culture which international students come across while studying in the foreign countries.

In my opinion, pupils should be encouraged to study overseas as it enhances their overall personality. Students tend to come in contact with other individuals from different parts of the world. This leads to broadening their horizon and make them confident and competitive. These interactions help them build networks, which prove beneficial in the long run to fetch lucrative job offers. Furthermore, these courses enhance the knowledge and skills of the individuals. They get well-versed with the latest techniques and techniques and technologies. As a result, they implement their learning and best practices in their native country and significantly contribute to the growth of the nation.

However, there are a few who are in favour of pursuing their higher studies in the home country. They believe international students experience a culture shock and language barrier after going abroad. They often get frustrated after observing a different lifestyle and culture of a foreign country. They develop a feeling of homesickness which further leads to depression and stress. Furthermore, due to the language gap they fail to express themselves in front of others and are often misunderstood.

In a nutshell, studying abroad has both advantages and disadvantages. However, its benefit outweighs the shortcomings. Henceforth, people should be encouraged to go overseas for higher education to shape up their career and to become independent to have a better future for themselves and their country.

summerlin 5 / 12 2  
Nov 15, 2017   #2
Hi Chinky

My advise for your essay is your should state your opinion in your introduction instead of body paragraph. Defending your opinion in the body paragraphs by giving reasons and examples.

This essay is about giving your opinion so you should only express what you think instead of others, otherwise the essay would be a discussion + opinion essay. So in the third paragraph you should not use "they believe...". Your conclusion may result in losing scores because you are off topic. The question prompt is"To what extent do you agree or disagree" not "does the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? what are your opinion on this?"
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,938 2188  
Nov 15, 2017   #3
Chinky, your essay will get an automatic failing score. There are no ifs or buts about it. The essay does not reflect the correct prompt requirements and does not deliver an accurate prompt paraphrase either. Make a mistake with the prompt paraphrase, as you did with this one, and your essay will not be read to the end. You automatically fail in the TA section and as such, the examiner will no longer have to read the rest of your essay. The problem with your presentation is that you decided to discuss what you "think" the essay is about rather than what the essay is "all about". This is an extent essay and therefore, relies on your point of view regarding your main opinion and nothing more. This is an essay that can be completed in 4 paragraphs if represented properly. If you would like to increase your chances of passing in the IELTS test, you would do well to read the other essays that have been written on this topic previously. Just click on the Similar Discussions button and you will be shown a list of similar essays, along with the advice given for improvement. You can use those previous essays as a template and the advice given there, as a basis for how you should be writing your own essay based on the same topic.
Amatis250 3 / 5  
Nov 15, 2017   #4
Hey Chinky,

Nice work!

1st a little grammar issues: who are in favour of[ who are in favor of/ language gap they fail[ language gap, they

Then I think you may think of adding in some personal experience and point of views instead of explaining it all in a general way.
naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Nov 15, 2017   #5
Hi first of all here are some points that i want to have some recommendations.
in the first paragraph, first sentence( studies) higher education.
in the second line ( there are a few) few what???
again in the third paragraph (a few) what??

and overall
you did not go on prompt way
your paragraphs are not written in a good way, i mean your first paragraph is not like an introduction paragraph.
in some points you are using wrong words for example (a few) i as a reviewer become confuse with these points
OP chinkybehl22 10 / 25 4  
Nov 16, 2017   #6
Hello,

Thanks for all the valuable feedback, based on the feedback I wrote it again. Please suggest if its better and if there are any recommendations:

Nowadays, many students go abroad for higher education. Although this offers students some benefits, they experience several unavoidable challenges while studying in a foreign country. Due to which, it is argued that students should continue their studies in the native country. This essay will argue both the sides, followed by my opinion.

On one hand, students should be encouraged to study overseas as it enhances their overall personality. They interact with other pupils from different parts of the world. As a result, they become confident and competitive. These interactions help them build networks which benefit them in fetching lucrative job offers in the long run. Furthermore, studying abroad, especially in a developed nation enhances the knowledge and skills of the individuals. They get well-versed with the latest tools and technologies. As a result, they implement the learning and best practices in their home country. Henceforth, significantly contributing to the overall growth in the country.

On the other hand, there are many difficulties which international students experience while studying abroad, making the belief strong to stay at home. Students after going to abroad tend to experience a culture shock and language barrier. They are frustrated after observing a different lifestyle and culture. They develop a feeling of homesickness which further leads to depression and mental stress. Moreover, due to the language gap, they find it difficult to express themselves in front of others. As a result, they are often misunderstood.

To conclude, I completely disagree that students should stay at home. In my opinion, although there are some initial challenges like culture and language gap experienced by the students after going abroad, the advanced knowledge and specialized skills attained by them will ensure a bright future for themselves and their country. Henceforth, pupils should be encouraged to study abroad instead of staying at home.


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