Today, Many people with different field tend to obtain higher education. Society in these days requires students to be a dexterous individual in particular knowledge. Role of university education is to breed outstanding individual that society needs, and to help students to get succeed in each career. That brings high-school graduated students lead to study in upper education, and get college degree as a result of achievement. But there's a fierce debate among people and society about the college education should be free to all students. Some people thinks college education needs to open to all students, often posits all students have a right to succeed in the future. Under the role of university, They have to make all students to better individual to work well in society. Meanwhile, other people claims that college education should be open to only for good students, who had good score in objective evaluation like SAT. In having a choose between two aspects, I strongly believe everyone should have a right to apply for college or university students want, because of following two reasons.
First of all, in practical terms, College has a duty to nurture numerous talented citizens. It is a country's duty that to help its citizens to be a better member of the society, by educate themselves. Helping to get higher education to each of students will helps to have more outstanding individual in the society. They will help society to advance; they can contribute to advance economy by their knowledge. Education is the power to nurture its citizens, and citizen who can work for their country enhances a society's economy. South Korea, which have college education for all students give us good example to illustrate this point. This example demonstrates that how the country can enhance its economy just in 50 years after Korean War. Society offers to college to breed people who can work for their country. And then more than 80% of Korean Students are able to receive higher education, and eventually become a qualified graduate who help 'Miracle of Han River'. If college did not contribute to give chance to more students in Korea, enhancement of Korean economy might not be possible.
Second of all, in social terms, We could miss out on good ideas as a society. In basically, the terms of 'bad students' is really ambiguous: Because the students who got fail in the test, are just not good at the particular subject. That means, they are able to have talent on other fields like Art or Music. Not allowing them into college because of test score is not only unfair, but also will cause them to be unable to further their ideas and skills. It is a society that the biggest victims of restricting chances to them to get into college education. For example, Yoo-Joo Park, who is 19-years-old iOS Developer, shed on light to this point. He is known for his own game apps to Korean iPhone users. He developed a gaming platform people can enjoy each other more easily and It just went viral through Apple communities. But owing to fail some subjects in high school which is unrelated to accomplish his dream as App Developer, he could not take college education. This example strongly gives us not allowing students who just have low GPA scores in few subjects is a big mistake. Our society would be missed out on discoveries and inventions if we did not allow poor students to take university education.
So, in light of the two points aforementioned with examples, I think to open college education to all is good idea. It will be wise for people to remember these points, and try to open chances to give college education for all, regardless of test score. This must contribute to help to reform our economy, and to give creativity into our society.
overall, you have a good points, compelling examples, academic vocabulary. However, there are some bad points
- unnecessarily long introduction! Keep in mind that it is timed Toefl test, the only thing you must do is to go straight to the main point and state your opinion
- the expression of your thought isn't succinct , which results in confusion
Hi,
I have one concern :)
Have you been able yo manage time for this essay? It looks pretty long. If you were able to handle time then it's fine. Otherwise, you need to practise with time because it has a major bearing on your score.
