Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

ielets essay popular events like the football world cup & other sporting


Spanish eyes 1 / -  
Jun 22, 2011   #1
This is my essay for ielets exam you are discussing with an educated reader not sport specialist about how sport can release international tension & patriotic emotion..agree or disagree....my exam is close..so i need your help :{

Since the early beginning of human civilization, people have learned a lot of things; they have learned how to create new materials, how to grow plants in a modern way, how to lead countries in war & peace, but among all of that they have certainly learned how to enjoy their times.

In early centuries, nations used to perform an open competitions, players were introduced to a vast number of audience to play different kinds of games like wrestling . In ancient Greece ,for example, where a championships known at a that time as the Olympics, used to be held every year. The winner, a team or a single player used to be praised & honored by given a trophy as a symbol for victory.

Many years later ,when the competition became multinational , the purpose has changed ,you can be amused & entertained by the game, but added to this, every country has been able to present its team of players & the fans were able to show their love by cheering ,raising their national flags & supporting their wining team as an act to release their patriotic tension in a safe way. Furthermore, many countries compete to host many worldwide competitions to be able present their culture & hospitality in the best way.

Unfortunately, after many years of civilization, some people do not respect their love to the game & they got too passionate about their team & their nations to the limit they consider the other team as a real opponent which could lead to a lot of hatred & violence like what has happened in African football cup 2010 when the fans of two competing teams have disrespected the game & started a fight in the same field.

I myself, appreciate the love of the game, the patriotic expression of support to a national team.
in conclusion, sport has begun as an act of civilized nations to show their strength, their power, to support a winner, but what important is, simply to enjoy the time & release stresses.

the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jun 29, 2011   #2
Hi Spanish eyes, overall I would say that your ideas are good but just a gentle advice for you that, in Ielts writing exams your arguments should be strong and cover all the aspects of the questions. In this essay of yours I see that the side of "how sport can release international tension" has lack of discussion or actually I couldnt see your answer to this.

Kind regards


Home / Writing Feedback / ielets essay popular events like the football world cup & other sporting