hi teachers
because i will test the IELTS in the March
I already test one ...the score is five...but i need approach the six poit five
could you give me some advise...and help
i will really appreciate
thanks
The situation: Because of the pressure of new students such as business studies, many schools have dropped sport or physical education from the curriculum. How important is sport or PE in a young person's education?
In these years, huge of schools dropped away the sport or physical courses, because they must pay more time to learn business. Actually, this kind of education is so important for a senior student in his entire life. Why? These have some points that we could prove it.
The main idea, when they study sports or others, they could get regular good habit. Not only help body strength, but also more understand our body. For instance, when you go to swimming or climbing, you feel the breath is quickly and you cannot cover it. It will be your weakness in your health. Do more practice and regular activities will be better.
Another point, when you study these younger, it can build up some personality in the group, like don't give up. For example, when you play basketball, your team has the same purpose and you want win the game. The situation is a bad condition. But you cheer up each other and don't give up. It is the best class for young child.
In out life, a lot of super sport's stars begin sport from they young. In our life, some of person talks about his healthy because of the regular sports. The sport or physical education maybe is not so obvious effect, but I think it will be large effort on your life. The consult, the best benefit for students is to balance all subjects.
You are on the right track just have some errors:
In recent years, a large number of schools have dropped their physical education classes and sports teams, due to the desire to focus on academic studies.I believe daily physical activity is very important for any adolecent.Why? These have some points that we could prove it.(i WOULD TAKE THIS WHOLE SENTENCE OUT)
The main focus when partaking in physical activity is to develop healthy living habits. Not only help ones body strength, but also a better understanding of ones body. For instance, if you are swimming or hiking for a short period of time and feel short of breath, one will know that more physical activity is needed in order to get into shape.
Participating in physical activity at a young age can help instill a strong sense of drive and motivation.For example, if one is on a baseball team and maybe your team loses. Having previous experience with working with others will help you accept defeat and merely try harder next time.It is one of the best classes an adolescent can take.
Physical education plays a vital role in a young person's life and can help shape their future health -wise. With the growing obese population, more measures need to be taken to insure healthier lifestyles. Taking away physical education from schools will merely set us back further than we already are heath-wise. Children can surely balance both school and a physical education, afterall, it will help them in the end.
Hope I was able to help =] good luck!
Try to pay attention to your use of articles. So, for instance, "In these years, huge of schools dropped away the sport or physical courses" should be "in recent years, a huge number of schools have dropped their sports and phys ed courses."
Also, try to use full sentences, rather that sentence fragments. So, "Not only help body strength, but also more understand our body" should be "Not only can can sports help build physical strength, but they can also impart to us a greater understanding of how our bodies work."
thanks you very much
it's so helpful
i will try hard to improve my essay
thanks...
Is that true? Wow, schools should not drop phys. ed... it is so important! I is even important for academics, because physical activity gets the energy circulating to the brain...
In these years, a huge number of schools dropped away the sport or physical courses, because they must invest more time into academics . ....
In our lives , a lot of super sports stars begin sports when they young. In our life, Some people talk about being healthy because of regular participation in sports. ...
I hope you have much success on your test, and in your education!!!! You have all my respect, because you speak more than one language!!!
