Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


vanhkhuyen155 1 / 1  
Jul 21, 2018   #1

free access to the Internet?

Topic: Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other believe that access to the Internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In these modern days, the importance of the Internet is undeniable. However, the right of people to get free access to the Internet is still a debatable issue. Some people believe that it is not a right to access the Internet and it should be paid like other services while others have opposite opinions to this. Both of these views have their own cons and pros.

The Internet has become a necessary service in daily life. This platform contains a lot of useful information as well as benefits for people's works and businesses. Everybody can take these advantages from the Internet to create benefits for them and society. For that reason, having access to the Internet is needed for everyone . And in order to help the access to be as easy as possible, governments can provide it for free so that even a poor farmer has a chance to explore sites and maybe build his own business.

On the other hand, people need Internet companies to manage and keep this huge network stable. Somebody has to pay these companies and it takes a lot of money. In addition, too many people getting access to the Internet may lead to a result that the Internet speed can be slow down, the system is overloaded and crashed. These problems if occur might make many tasks stagnant.

In my point of view, I support the idea that free Internet is given to everyone and everybody can use it as a helpful tool as this brings more goods to people. The world's technology plus global's economy may be developed strongly thanks to this shift.

cao1km 8 / 16 5  
Jul 22, 2018   #2
In my opinion, your essay is quite concise.
"Some people believe that it is not ..." --> "... that internet should be free for everyone to access."

"while others have the opposite opinions"
"maybe build his own business"
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,051 2730  
Jul 22, 2018   #3
Khuyen, your essay is not framed in the proper discussion format because you forgot to properly paraphrase the given information. You specifically made a mistake in the discussion instruction presentation. Here is an outline of the error you made:

Instruction: Discuss both views and give your opinion
Response: Both of these views have their own cons and pros.
Additional Error: others have opposite opinions to this - What is the opposite opinion and will it be discussed in the response?

The discussion is not about pros and cons but rather whether or not the government should allow people to access the internet for free. You have a slight misunderstanding of the prompt which led to a small discussion alteration in your presentation. Try to stay on point by always reviewing the original instructions and comparing it to what you have written. If you create a simple outline before you start drafting the essay, you should be able to see whether or not your presentation will be aligned with the prompt expectations.