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IETLS TASK 1; CHARTS on results of a survey of adult education


binhpht 2 / 6 1  
Oct 2, 2013   #1
Im studying IELTS. This is the first time i write essay. I hope any member this site can correct and review my article
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below.

Write at least 150 words, and spend 20 minutes.

My essay:
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of purposes adult education. The pie chart illustrates the opinions of various people about how tuition fees show be divided among society's member. Seen together, the results of surveys suggest a link between the reasons and studying cost for further education.

The reasons for taking education in adulthood are aggregated into three groups that have similar percentage. The largest proportion group includes interesting in subject and gaining qualifications as reasons account for approximately 40 %. The second group contains 3 reasons. Some people think that, continuous learning will be helpful for their job account for 22 %, others, slightly lower at 20% feel it will help them improve opportunities for their promotion, and remain people in this group are learning because of their enjoy study with 20 percent of total reasons. The third group make up a small minority percent, roughly 10%, they want to learn due to make new friends and change new jobs.

The pie chart indicates that 40 % people think that they will pay for their study by themselves. Other respondents at 35% show that employer should foot the bill for them. A small minority of people (25%) want government help theme by taxpayer service.




dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 2, 2013   #2
Hi
First, I request you to have a meaningful topic for your essay when you open a new thread. That will help you earn more feedbacks too,

The pie chart illustrates the opinions of various people about how tuition fees show be divided among society's member.

... this sentence you need to rephrase. This has grammar issues at the end and also does not convey the idea properly,
The pie chart illustrates the opinions of people as to how the cost of course fee should be shared among the taxpayers, employers and individuals.
OP binhpht 2 / 6 1  
Oct 2, 2013   #3
Thanks for your correct
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Oct 3, 2013   #4
the percentage of purposes adult education

seven incentives for adult education in percentage terms.

Seen together, the results of surveys suggest a link between the reasons and studying cost for further education.

I don't think this is clearly shown. Instead, you had better describe the main trends of the charts. For example: Overall, the majority of people take up their study because of their interest in subject. Also, individuals should be mainly responsible for their tuition fees.
OP binhpht 2 / 6 1  
Oct 4, 2013   #5
Thanks for your correct. Im happy :)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 4, 2013   #6
There are three basic things you need to structure an IELTS writing task 1.
1. Introduce the graph
2. Give an overview
3. Give the detail
I wish you arrange your contents once again in the above format and re-post here.
OP binhpht 2 / 6 1  
Oct 4, 2013   #7
Thanks for your suggest. I will correct follow you tomorrow. I hope you will help me for correct.


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