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IETLS GT writing task 2: Should children follow strict rules of behaviour?


peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 11, 2012   #1
Hi All,

This is my 3rd essay. I finish this piece of work within a given amount of time and hope it is still in a good standard. Please feel free to comment and correct. Thank you!!

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want.

To what extent should children have to follow rules?


In recent years teenagers are considered to have significantly much more freedom. This is very controversial as, in certain cities around the world, parents hold a definitely opposing view that there should be tighter control on these children. Personally, I do otherwise strongly prefer them to be less obedient to instructions and be as free as they want.

A major convincing argument for children to have their own freedom relates to their individual potential. Creativity is utmost important in this new era, and children should use their own thoughts to try different things without fear. Steve Jobs, the world-famous founder of Apple. Was very rebellious in his adolescence, and he surprisingly built up his own huge empire at the later age.

Another strong argument is that in psychological terms, when the father and mothers exert a lot of pressure on their offspring, hoping to shape them into an ideal person in their perspective, the result would certainly be in opposite. Teenagers usually react vigorously if this kind of pressure crosses their line due to a sense of revenge.

It is undeniable that strict rules to children return promising outcome in some countries like Singapore. Despite its success in certain extent, establishment of an all-round personal development is not guaranteed because they must follow a definite path instructed by the parents or even the society, while they might never be able to fulfill their interests.

Both side of the debate has its own merits and demerits. In my opinion, kids should follow their own will on doing things and the government should provide more funding to provide a freer and diversified environment to make their dreams come true.

scarlet_bouquet 1 / 6  
Apr 12, 2012   #2
Hi peterc,

It is undeniable that strict rules to children return promising outcome in some countries like Singapore. Despite its success in certain extent, establishment of an all-round personal development is not guaranteed because they must follow a definite path instructed by the parents or even the society, while they might never be able to fulfill their interests .

I understand that in this paragraph, you intend to answer for the question of what extent children should follow the rule . In such kind of paragraph, i believe that examiners want you to give "other side of a coin" that children should obey the rules. Therefore I don't think that giving evidences to support the opposite side with the statement is appropriate in this case.
OP peterc 14 / 52  
Apr 12, 2012   #3
Hi scarlet_bouquet,

So I was supposed to support the point "children should follow the rule" by some explanations and/or examples in this paragraph? I'm afraid that there would be too much words in the same paragraph. What do you suggest?

Actually I like your comment as I tried to finish this essay in kind of a rush before, so there might evolve some problems. Thanks!!
scarlet_bouquet 1 / 6  
Apr 13, 2012   #4
Hi peterc,

I think that focusing on the "rule/obey" side is actually what the question want you to do and it should better be the main points in your essay. The question did not ask you to give your opinion on which side you agree with, therefore, giving your thought on the "open" side is fine but I think that shortening and moving it to your conclusion as the way you express your opinion could make your essay more convincing.
xyx0905 16 / 49  
Apr 13, 2012   #5
Hi Chu,

I am not sure if this is a original GT question. However, in Academic Module, we have a same question. Here is the original question: Some people think children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers, while others think less controlling and will help children deal with the adult's life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

By the way, in all argumentation essay (A module), personally speaking, we should provide our clear position in the introduction, even though the question ask you to discuss the both view.

1. In this paragraph, you have to deliver your ideas why you think less controlling is beneficial. 1. enhances their creativity (your idea) + supporting sentence: the encouragement develops children's confidence to express their own ideas and thoughts. 2. cultivate their independence ability + supporting sentence: in contrast, massive regulations make children's over reliance on the guidance, which further weakens their survival ability in their future adult's life.

2. Using Steve Jobs as an example may be not appropriate in this essay writing. Personally speaking, you have no supporting evidence to explain Steve Jobs has receive less controlling but not really obeying the rules to achieve his reputation today.


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