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IETLS Proportion of population aged 65 & over; Aging will accelerate after 2030s


JIMMY0907 2 / 3  
Sep 25, 2013   #1
Hi guys, need your help to improve my writing skills. Thanks in advance!

The graph provides some information about the change of the proportion of population aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in three countries: USA, Sweden and Japan. The proportion of USA will increase from 9 percent to 24 percent in that period. Sweden will increase from 8 percent to 25 percent and Japan will increase from 5 percent to 27 percent. All the country present a upward situation.

From the curves we can see that the trend of the people getting old in USA and Sweden remain a same posture in the period from 1940 to 2040. However, in the next 30 years, the trend in the two countries go different direction. Sweden go upward signally and then slow down gradually. While USA remains in same level for almost 20 years and then ascend slightly. They turn to same direction again and show a accelerated rise after 2030s.

The trend of elder proportion in Japan is quite different. it hold a downward situation from 1940 to 1990 and then go up slowly until 2030s. Afterward, it ascend rapidly and exceed UAS and Sweden by 2.5 percent.

From the chat we can draw a conclusion that the speed of the people getting old in the three countries will accelerate obviously after 2030s.
Traveler 6 / 14 2  
Sep 25, 2013   #2
The proportion of USA will increase from 9 percent to 24 percent in that period. Sweden will increase from 8 percent to 25 percent and Japan will increase from 5 percent to 27 percent.

In your overview paragraph avoid giving details (you'll keep those for the next paragraphs), just describe the main trends and important things (in this case, for example, mention that Japan will have a dramatic increase).

Be careful with the tense, when you talk about the future, use the future; when you talk about the past, use the past.

Hope it helps
shin122 2 / 4  
Oct 3, 2013   #3
All the country present a upward situation. ---> all the coutries presented a upward situation
Sweden go upward signally ------> swenden goes/ went upward signally

I think the way you use verb form is not right. You shoul identify clearly about this because it 's very important :)


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