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IETS WRITING TASK 2 (People will read everything online instead of printed news or books)

steve9198 1 / 1  
Jan 8, 2021   #1
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The technology has significantly developed for recent decades. Thanks to the invention of the Internet and smart gadgets, humans are able to access online whatever books they are interested in without any payment. I believe that people will no longer use printed newspapers or books in the future since there are online alternatives more convenient and cheaper.

Reading newspapers or books online has more advantages than the printed ones. Firstly, reading online is the best choice in the hustling and bustling life because humans become more and more busy with their work. We can update what is taking place around us or even globally whenever we want as long as we are equipped with an Internet- accessible electric device. If we use the printed newspapers, we have to buy them from the stores that might be time-consuming. Secondly, reading online is less expensive because we pay nothing for the online newspapers and reading books on the Internet is obviously cheaper than the printed ones . Moreover, if we are a huge fan of books, we have to restore a big amount of books that we ever read, so keeping the online books is simpler and more easily accessible when we look up . Finally, no longer printed books are used, the less amount of wood is cut down for paper production. Therefore, reading online is also the useful method contributing to the environment protection campaigns which are currently the topical concerns of human beings.

In conclusion, reading online becomes more and more ubiquitous. I personally hope that online newspapers or books will alter completely the printed ones in the future because online reading habit has more considerable advantages than the conventional reading method

** Thanks very much for your feedbacks**

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,124 3267  
Jan 9, 2021   #2
Your prompt paraphrase is good but a bit flawed. You stated in the first sentence that "Technology has significantly..." Which is a personal opinion. It is not a part of the information from the original prompt and therefore, must not be included in the presentation of the restated prompt. It affects your Task Accuracy when you indicate information not included in the original reference. That single irrelevant sentence would lower an otherwise high score for that scoring section.

The second reason should always be presented in a stand alone paragraph. Never present it as a part of the first discussion topic because the combination of 2 unrelated discussion topics in one paragraph results in an under developed paragraph. That is the result of incoherent and non-cohesive discussion presentations. A reader tends to look for a relationship between the reasoning in a paragraph, which disappears when you present 2 unrelated reasons. Time in relation to news availability does not directly relate to money spent as you did not use a transition sentence to connect the two discussion points in the paragraph.

All Task 2 essays have a minimum 4 paragraph presentation. You only have 3 paragraph here, which means you are not in compliance with the formatting guidelines for the task in terms of paragraph presentation.

The conclusion should be a summary of the discussion, thus creating a reverse paraphrase conclusion for the discussion. You left the essay open ended because you continued to offer a personal opinion discussion in that paragraph, rather than a recap of the presentation.
ALU08008 1 / 4 2  
Jan 10, 2021   #3
At the opening paraphrase maybe you can try to shorten your presentation and go straight to your point. There are too many your own own state to over represent the topic thus you can keep your idea to the second paraphrase.

Secondly, try to put on some adversative word such as ''on the one hand.....,on the other hand'', ''however'', ''therefore'', ''furthermore''. It can make viewer more easily to catch your key point.

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