"Ignorance is bliss". Agree or disagree? - my essay for CBEST

"Ignorance is bliss". Agree or disagree?

"As hunger is cured by food, so ignorance is cured by study." said a Chinese author.

Some people might think that being ignorance will bring happiness because they will have peaceful mind by doing nothing to their circumstances. But I do not agree with the statement "Ignorance is bliss". Being a human, we have to realize that there is always a room to improvements. As we strive to be a better person, we could make things better to others too.

For example: Jonas Salk, the scientist who conquered Polio was worried because in 1916, there were 9000 people suffered from polio (polio attack people muscle, making and walking difficult). Because Jonas was not an ignorant person, he was determined to stop the disease from harming more people. He run a fundraising program called March of Dimes to fight polio. Less than two years after he got the grant, he had a vaccine that protected Americans against polio. From his story I learned that if we care enough about others and willing to advance our knowledge, instead of being ignorant; we could make a positive effect not only to ourselves but also to our community.

Another example would be the story of Nelson Mandela, the first Black President of South Africa. Nelson was frustrated by how he and other blacks were being treated. They were paid low wages for working in dangerous gold mines and other hard jobs. In 1942 Nelson studied hard and become a lawyer. Nelson fought hard for equal rights. He was put in jail for 27 years and finally black South African gained more rights. In 1994, Nelson was elected president of South Africa. Nelson Mandela had shaken the tree of South Africa and changes the world. Studying about Mandela story, I am assured we should gain knowledge instead of being ignorance in order to help people.

Ignorance is simply insensitivity or lack of education and can be cured only by study. Both Jonas Stalk and Nelson Mandela have compassion and studied hard to make other people live better. The dream of Jonas Stalk came true when polio was conquered and Mandela's dream came true when blacks have equal rights. I am assured that when their dreams finally came true they had the true happiness or bliss.

its exellent ...nothing is impossilble in this world .
Do u agree ?

I think it should be "room for improvements"

"Because" used thrice. "example" twice. I suggest to use synonym words.

I'll fix the grammar and punctuation. Practice typing it this way:

"As hunger is cured by food, so ignorance is cured by study," said a Chinese author.

Some people might think that being ignorant will bring happiness because they will have peaceful minds by doing nothing to change their circumstances.

But I do not agree with the statement, "Ignorance is bliss."

Being a human, we have to realize that there is always room for improvement.

From his story I learned that if we care enough about others and willing to advance our knowledge, instead of being ignorant; we could make a positive effect not only to ourselves but also to our community.---very good example!

Great ending, too.

:-)