In modern society, whether children should learn the subjects that have less link with further career is an issue that arouses controversy. Several individuals assert that schools should only teach children the subjects which will benefit them in the future .Personally, Children should learn some so-called unimportant subjects such as music and sport as well.
It is generally accepted today that music and sports play an essential part in individual's daily life so as to the children. When it comes to the advantages of these kinds of courses, three points should be mentioned. At the beginning, sports help a child to maintain an active life style and a healthy body in the future. Meanwhile, according to scientists, listening to music or playing instruments can develops a higher level of thinking skill which contributes to children's capacities of problem solving and evaluation. More importantly, all these activities can give the children more opportunities to socialize and build a long-lasting friendship. In other words, children learn how to communicate and cooperate with others which will also be beneficial to their career in the future.
However, I admit that learning music and sports may occupy the spare time of the teenagers. As students have to finish doing all the homework, some even have to attend after-school classes, they have less time to relax themselves. Learning other instruments or sports means more tasks and burdens for them. If the students can not balance these works well, they may fail to catch up with others in knowledge learning and the school courses.
In conclusion, personally I think children should learn some courses like music and sports. However, the governments should set rules to restrict the learning tasks and to guarantee the rest time for the children.
Here are few of my suggestions
Personally, Children should learn some so-called unimportant subjects
I believe , students should learn non-academic subjects..
play an essential part in individual's
play an important role in the development of an individual
in the future
for the future
Include your prompt together with your essay so that we know what it expects. And we can align our feedback better with what it requires.
In modern society, whether children should learn the subjects that have less link with further career is an issue that arouses controversy.
.... seems you have too many ideas crept into this line and nothing comes out freely :(
I feel you need to follow a better structure too.