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Illness prevention as opposed to illness treatment

tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Sep 1, 2017   #1
Topic: Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

national money on health of citizens

It is believed that national money should be utilized mainly for illness prevention by improving life quality in place of treatment for ill people. As far as I am concerned, I disagree with this point of view because illness prevention and treatment are equally important and should be paid attention the same.

On the one hand, allocating national budget for promoting healthy lifestyle and illness prevention is essential due to many reasons. Initially, this method can decrease the number of ill people as well as decline the seriousness of some ailments. By improving healthy lifestyle, citizens can take their health status under control and have enough time to cope with some risky circumstances of illness. Promoting healthy habit, such as eating health food or drinking plenty of fluids, is a must-do preparation in order to minimize the potential of being ill. Secondly, there are numerous of incurable diseases that may result in death. When people catch untreated diseases, ranging from cancer to HIV, their lives will certainly be intimidated and opportunities to survive in the long-run is so rare. Therefore, defending people from distracting severe diseases is extremely necessary. Without preparation and protection, people may get serious diseases or even die.

On the other hand, treatment for ailments should be paid much attention and it is crucial for the authority to allocate national budget on illness treatment. It is obvious that the precautions cannot stop people from getting ill comprehensively, the methods can only mitigate the potential of being sick. In other words, the number of patients can drop but never end. Therefore, it is better to invest money in medical facilities and medications than ignoring to save them. More importantly, curing ailment is vitally significant when there are some outbreaks of disease. Certain of infectious diseases may spread from one victim to thousand of people. If the government did not attempt to find ways to cure contagious diseases, the viruses would threaten other people in succession.

In conclusion, being sick is unpredictable. Therefore, the authority and inhabitants should safeguard themselves beforehand by promoting healthy lifestyle and also find solutions to combat diseases because both illness prevention and treatment play an indispensable role in our delightful life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Sep 1, 2017   #2
Linh, in the total course of your essay postings, you still have not learned how to tell the difference between the different discussion styles. You have to know when to use a comparative essay discussion and when you have to write an opinion essay alone. I keep on explaining to you that the word "OR" in a prompt means "choose only one side to discuss". You can't seem to remember that and it is becoming increasingly frustrating for me to help you with your essays because you keep making the same mistakes over and over again. I am afraid that because you are not showing enough signs of improvement in your essay writing, specifically in the English comprehension skills part, that you will not be prepared to pass this test in time. You need to show improvements soon otherwise, I will not be able to help you anymore. You have to try and write the correct essay for the prompts every time. Ask people to explain the prompt if you don't understand it. I keep trying to help you but you are not applying the lessons that I am teaching you so the same mistakes keep showing up so I am starting to sound like a broken record in delivering the explanations as to how to analyze and respond to the essays to you.

In this essay, you did not signify the degree of your disagreement (I strongly disagree, I partially disagree, I disagree to a certain extent) and once again you did a compare and contrast essay discussion. Your paraphrased prompt is less than 3 sentences (as required) and you not only presented an opinion where you should not have, but you also discussed a portion of it in the opening statement. All of which will result in a failed TA score and as such, a failed overall score. How can you fix this problem? Read the advice that I gave you for the essays located in https://essayforum.com/writing/idolization-effects-76873/ and https://essayforum.com/writing/importance-local-history-opposed-world-76599/ Those are the essays that I already tried to correct for you that have the same problems as this one.
OP tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Sep 1, 2017   #3
Thank you Holt, I will try to distinguish between two types of essay. Thank you so much!

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