The illustration describes the process in which bricks are made for constructing purposes

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

Process of making bricks

The illustration describes the process in which bricks are made for constructing purposes. As can be seen from the diagram, there are seven steps in total, beginning with collecting clay and finishing with delivering the products.

In the first place, clay is dug by a digger, then cut into smaller pieces by a metal grid and moved on a roller. The initial product is mixed with sand and water after that. In the next stage, the combination is shaped into brick form either by a wire cutter or a mould.

The fourth step is hardening the original bricks using a drying oven during a period of 24 to 48 hours. Next, these products experience extreme heat ranging between 200 Celsius degrees and 1300 Celsius degrees in the kiln before penetrating the cooling process in the chamber for 2 to 3 days. After that, packaging takes place and the well - done bricks are eventually transferred on a truck.

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... shaped into bricks
using a drying oven during a period of ----> for

Tran, your paragraphs are too short to be fully analytical of the procedure illustrated. You must use fully developed explanatory paragraphs for this essay. Rather than trying to explain to you what the mistakes are in your essay, I will show you a better developed version of this essay instead. That way you can learn better based upon the example I will be providing. Here is the example for you:

The graphic illustration describes the 7 steps involved in the creation of bricks. The illustration also depicts the two methods by which the clay mixture is shaped into bricks. This essay will detail the seven steps required to create the brick mixture and also discuss the two options for brick creation.

The first step in the process requires that the clay be dug from the ground. A roller is then used to break down the clay into smaller pieces using a metal grid. This initial product is then mixed with sand and water.

The next step requires the clay, sand, and water mixture to be shaped into bricks. There are two methods by which this can be performed. The first is by

using a brick block mould. This block is then cut into brick shapes using a wire cutter. The second method, is by pouring the solution into individual brick moulds. Regardless of which procedure is used, the end result is the same, a brick which is ready for the final stages of production is created.

The bricks are then baked in a drying oven for 24-48 hours. It is baked at a heat measurement of 200 degrees Celsius before it is transferred to a 1300 degree Celsius kiln. From there, the bricks move to a cooling chamber where it dries out within 2-3 days. After the cooling process, the brick is then packed and transferred to a truck for delivery.

Note the precise details in my example and the combination of simple to complex sentences that were used in the body of paragraphs. That is what you should aim for in your next practice test. The example above is a level 9 Task 1 essay.