ILTES W-2: it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones.

It is a fact; people have eagerness to experience with new thing like new museums and town halls. Although many have intention to see new one, I prefer to pay visit old ones because those places have historical value as well economical values.

The old museums and town halls have significance on visitors. The rise in the number of visitors helps to expand the tourism industry that contributes the support of the economy. For instance, the Great Wall of China signifies their long-lasting history that also has economic value as many tourists pay visit and subsequently spend money there. Thus, the earnings add to the economy of china. The old buildings have historical and cultural significance as well as economic value. If those are not preserved well, we may lose some certain advantage from them.

In addition, the historical places impart the cultural values, believe, norms to the young generation. Young can not only earn immense benefits but also learn knowledge and information visiting these places, whereas they might not get such the things from new one. Furthermore, visiting those places they may come to know an important function in history and some are even the nations' pride. New buildings; however, may have helped both economically and developmentally, but old ones provide knowledge with young to develop their personality.

To conclude, the generating economical value and the convey of manner of past generation from the historical places which have brought tangible and intangible benefits to us.That's why; I strongly consider that old buildings should not be replaced due to their contribution to the nation and due to the fact that it doesn't hinder progress.

Dear friends,
I m confusion in using punctuation ... in some case like It is a fact; and That's why; ..i m useing (; ) here . is it correct or not .

pls say about task response and collocation and coherence in writing .

Dear @SYDA, it is INCORRECT to use the semi-colon (;) as the way you did.

It is a fact; people have eagerness ... => It is a fact that people are willing to experience more trendy things such as new museums and town halls . Remember the structure "experience something" not "experience with something".

The old museums and town halls ... => You should add some linking word at the beginning of thesis statement. For instance "On one hand".

The old museums ... The rise in the number of visitors ... =>you should write at least one support sentence after each one. These two seem to be irrelevant because the first one is not clarified yet.

The old buildings have historical and cultural ... => you should put them in the conclusion.

the historical places impart the cultural ... => by visiting historical destinations, many youngsters can learn more about their cultural values including norms, belief, religion...

they may come to know an important function [...] with young to develop their personality. => visiting those places can raise the pride inside them and teach them to respect traditional value.

Dear SYDA, I can partly absorb your main ideas but you should try to put them follow a logic so the examiner can consider your essay as "well-structured" and "easy to follow".

Try to eliminate or reduce some spoken words finally. Good luck !!

thanx huthutran,

ur feedback is really effective. with ur guidelines I ll able to write better one.