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Imitation and knowledge stage; childhood - the most significant time in an individual's life (toefl)

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Sep 23, 2014   #1
Topic Do you agree or disagree that childhood is the most important time in a person's life

Numerous people on this planet consider childhood is really important due to the fact that it is the preliminary stage of human life and without it you cannot go to the next stage. Yet the rest of people think it is not that crucial because childhood is only the part of our life .Therefore it does not fully decide our destiny. However I strongly believe that it is important because that is the time when our character is forming and essential knowledge simultaneously.

First things first, Personalities. As kids they have not gotten any personalities yet. It is because kids are too young for it. Despite of this possibility, some of the kids might already have some certain character . However I have a strong belief that it is not permanent. Therefore it is a variable stage and it necessitates for parents or people surrounding them to be like a role model in order to create a harmless character for our society. By way of illustriation if a child had a really pathetic life when he was a kid then as he grew up he can become drug dealer or smuggler .

Secondly, Background knowledge. The first knowledge is always precious for any human being in this planet. If it happens that you are going to be living without it then the life will be really tough. Even though I have seen numerous people lived without it and nothing really affects them that much but still we can not play our life like a lottery so additional knowledge for contingency is necessary . For instance alphabet. Although I was a really good pupil in school but somehow I deliberately skipped it because I did not think it is going to be such an important thing. Thus it is a nightmare for me to encounter with exercises associated with that.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I assert that childhood is a considerable time in an any human life due to the chief knowledge that kid will obtain and nonetheless characteristic that kid going to be possess in the rest of his entire life. So yes indeed I completely agree with that statement and consider childhood as a considerable time in our life.

lbhux13 4 / 6  
Sep 23, 2014   #2
Well first of all, there are a lot of spelling/punctuation/grammar errors but those are easy to fix so don't stress about those! I like the concept you chose but I think you would gain a lot if you provided an anecdote or talked about an experience that lead you to believe this philosophy. Good luck!
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Sep 24, 2014   #3
thanks but if you dont mind could you tell me my mistakes i really appreciate your comment and find it useful;D
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Sep 24, 2014   #4
i mean grammar and punctuation you know
Ominous1337 3 / 5  
Sep 24, 2014   #5
Looking at it from a psychological point of view, childhood is the most important time in a person's life, everything is developing and even one little traumatic experience can alter a child's mentality forever. You're right, personality is forming too, and it is heavily influenced by nurture and the child's surroundings.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 24, 2014   #6
Numerous people consider that childhood years are crucial.Yet,the rest think opposite due to the fact that it is realy depend upon the person and circumstances.However I strongly believe that childhood years are important because it is the first stage

- Why do some people think that childhood is a crucial state? Childhood is the first stage of what? As an introduction this is very weak and confusing. It has hanging sentences and does not really convey a complete thought nor your opinion on the topic. I suggest that you revise your introduction in order to clean it up. Restate the prompt, create a thesis statement and then give your opinion. That way the reader will have an idea of the flow of discussion that will take place in the essay.

First things first,imitation.At this stage a child usually tries to imitate actions from their parents.Even though strangers or friends can also make a huge impact on child's personalities.Despite this possibility majority of kids are always stick to parents because most of their time are with their parents especially in young age. Therefore it is my first reason.
Secondly but nonetheless is knowledge.At this period a child has tremendous questions to ask because they are not experienced yet and at this point the information that is going to comprehend is essential.Some of the information might be useless for a certain period of time but I have a strong belief that knowledge is always usefull no matter what happens.Moreover those are some preliminary knowledge that decide whether kids are prepared for the next stage or not.Thus it is my second reason.

- When considered as supporting facts for your stand on the issue, it seems that you wish to concentrate on the learning experience that a child experiences in child hood. You need to dig deeper and give examples of the learning that takes place during this time. Don't forget to mention at what age learning begins for a child in order to create a solid foundation for your supporting statements.

By way of a conclusion,based on the arguments explored above.I consider that childhood is a significant time in a peson's life .That is the period where your character is forming.And also the very first knowledge that you are about to possess without it you cannot go to the next level .So yes indeed I completely agree with the statement and consider childhood is a considerable time in a human's life.

- This is a good conclusion. However, due to the shaky first and second paragraphs, the effect of your conclusion is lessened.

It is important that you revise your paper based upon my suggestions above. While this is an excellent effort, it is a long way from being coherent and grammatically correct. That is something that can only be corrected once you have created a solid foundation for your paper based upon the content. If I correct the grammatical errors now, it may not be of help to you because of the forthcoming revision.
Ulaai 3 / 41 25  
Sep 24, 2014   #7
Therefore it is my first reason.

Thus it is my second reason.

Better omit these.

Try to rewrite your essay using paragraphs, it will make it look neater and easier to read. Also, pay attention to punctuations. Always put a space after every dot (.) or comma (,). Also, you have a lot of typos, like "usefull ", "peson's ".

My advice is try to read as many as possible essays when you're here to get a broader perspective on how to write a better essay. Good luck! :)
OP Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Sep 24, 2014   #8
Great advice i will write down my new essay right now x3

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