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IELTS Essay about Immigration and adapting the local laws


Hani Lee 1 / -  
May 16, 2012   #1
Topic : Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

Currently, the growing economic and political instability has led to the indispensability of migration, as people look for greener pastures in other lands as they hope for attaining success in their lives. Needless to say, some find this difficult; hence, the controversy on whether migrants should assimilate the local and dominant culture, or develop their own ethnic community to better adapt to this strange environment.

In view of the fact that adapting to a local culture is known to be the easier way of gaining success in a foreign country, many migrants have tried to do so and obtained well-paying jobs, while others got to manage a thriving business. These provided them with the means to sustain their needs and their caprices. However, on a long term basis, many migrants still feel a relatively low sense of belonging to this new people group and find it difficult to be incorporated into the mainstream. Unfortunate for some, their lack of knowledge about the language, the people themselves, their culture and historical heritage often cause a rift between them and the locals.

On the other hand, forming a minority community will help the people become well-acquainted with the locals and learn their ways without much stress. As migrants share their experiences in assimilating the ways and traditions of the people, as they share their business acumen, the new comer will be well-guided in how to resolve the challenges he will meet on a daily basis. This is observed in many established China towns around the world. Incidentally, the Chinese people have been able to assimilate themselves in the mainstream while maintaining their ethnicity in a foreign land.

To recap, it is essential that people adapt to the local ways of life in order for immigrants to succeed in their newfound home. The establishment of minority communities is also essential and is believed to be a big boost for new comers to cope up with the challenges they may face, enabling them to adjust successfully to the new culture they face in life.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 673 148  
May 17, 2012   #2
Hi, I just glanced over the essay. I think there are two main points that you should consider:
1) At the second paragraph you did not completely explain why people should adopt to a local culture (the first viewpoint of the topic which must be discussed). You should add some more details in this concern.

2) Writing the third paragraph of the body: This topic is a discussion between two viewpoints. So, after arguing these opinions in two separate paragraphs, in the third one you should compare them and give your own idea . In fact, the topic asked u to "Discuss these two views and give your opinion. ". You did not expand your own idea in the essay.

In such topics you should organize your essay as follows:
Introduction
Body: 1) first viewpoint; 2) Second viewpoint; 3) Your opinion
Conclusion(reword the introduction)


Best Regards
Ahmad
sheikhnabeel 2 / 4  
May 17, 2012   #3
Lee and Tommy ur thoughts:

On the other hand, forming a minority community will help the people become well-acquainted with the locals and learn their ways without much stress. As migrants share their experiences in assimilating the ways and traditions of the people, as they share their business acumen, the new comer will be well-guided in how to resolve the challenges he will meet on a daily basis. This is observed in many established China towns around the world. Incidentally, the Chinese people have been able to assimilate themselves in the mainstream while maintaining their ethnicity in a foreign land.the logic of this paragraph is not clear.

Local communities should also be encouraged. These communities form the basis of integration with the local society. It helps the new immigrants to get familiar with local culture and environment. These kind of setups also help people in finding accommodation, jobs and also other day to day task that will be great help to a new comers. People comes from all parts of the world, their thinking, food, dressing, communication are all different. So to except one to immediately get blend in an alien environment is unrealistic. And These local communities will be starting point of integration with society.


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