IELTS, How immigration change the life in both industrialised and developed countries

Over the last half century, the immigration's rate has increased beyond our wildest expectation. the most important aspect which should be considered about this issue is the effect of this phenomenon on the both industrialized and developed countries.

Obviously, the largest amount o immigration are from less developed countries. Apparently, it is not certainly easy for those kind of immigrants who left all their positions and opportunities behind to make much more appropriate future for their families. They mostly accept careers which are not suited neither their personality nor their skills with less income. It would be one of those beneficial aspects for industrialized countries. The companies in industrialized countries would be able to have a range of experts with low payment which is a simple way to save more money for employers.

On the other hand some immigrants attempt to reflect the flavor of their culture to the new community which would bring with itself both advantages and disadvantages.

New traditional mall and restaurants from a whole variety of background would make lots of opportunities for immigrants to live in a better country with even more income. In contrast industrialized countries can have a variety of culture in their society which make their society multicultural, although their governments should predict some strategies to tackle the problem o being multicultural.

On the whole, without suggesting that immigration is necessarily a good phenomenon, but I think by no mean we can not ignore the advantages of this matter especially for the next generation of a developed country. From my own view, i should say that the positive outcomes for developed countries is much more for the industrialized countries.

Hi,
It's always good to have your prompt included in the essay. Then we know exactly what it expects and we can align our comments accordingly.


... rather than showing it as an issue, I prefer if keep it in a more general level and talk aboutvhow it would affect the two sets of countries. However, if your prompt highlights it as a issue, then it's fine :)

You have good writing capabilities. Of course no doubt about that :)
However, I feel you need to pay a little more attention to the structure because it helps you manage time while ensuring that you display all necessary features in your essay that help you earn marks. My advice is to restrict one reason or argument per paragraph. Then give an example to elaborate your point. For the next reason go to the next para.

Thank you for your comment, could you say me what my score would be approximately in an ielts exam
Thanks in advance