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The Impact of Divorce on Children

Fitri12 28 / 53 6  
Sep 13, 2016   #1
Marriage, for the majority of people, is one of the most remarkable moments in life.
Unfortunately it is not always as wonderful as it is shown on the surface.
Some families must deal with miserable condition called divorce, eventually.
According to Professor Tamara D. Afifi, these days, the motivation of getting divorce tends to personal happiness of parents rather than unpleasant marriage life. Moreover, some parents even argue of having forever marriage life but feel really unhappy in reality. This condition turns divorce into a very common thing.

Divorce not only splits the family members but also influences stable upbringing of children.
The speaker has described several impacts of divorce into two types, short term effects and long term effects. Anxiety, depression, and low quality contact with parents belong to short term effects of parents' separation. If children unable to conquer them then they will turn into long term effects such as psychological problems and unsatisfying bond with parents . The most horrible one is the children might have potential to get divorce as well in their future marriage.

In order to take control of divorce circumstances, Professor Tamara offers a few positive solutions for children.
The first one is instead of involving in parents fighting, it is better to focus on the future life. On the other hand, mind your own business and let parents handle theirs. The second possible way out is recognizing the emotions, trying to do Self-Talking and taking away the regret. The last essential thing is let it go.

mem77 62 / 98 6  
Sep 13, 2016   #2
hello fitri, it nice to see your essay and also i think it is an interesting topic for us to get more information about the impact of divorce on children. overall, your essay was clearly good enough, but i have some advice to you to make your writing more good.

on the first sentence, i think it is better to use "marriage, for mostly people...." than "marriage, for the majority of people ......" to make your writing more shortly and people do not waste a time to read that sentence. and than on the second sentence, your verb totally wrong. on that sentence, you write ".......it is shown on the surface.", but the right one is "..........it is show on the surface."

i think that's for several correction from me and i hope you keep practice to write an essay to improve your writing skills. thank you!
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 13, 2016   #3
Hi Fitri.
Welcome to Essay Forum. You have been one of the best webistes to improve your writing skill. I hope you enjoy it.
Let me help you to get a few suggestions.

Actually, in this moment, I would not correct your grammar. I wanna focus on your way to describe a summary. When you make a paragraph, make you sure that you have a clear topic. Honestly, your flow is not good. It will make readers confused. There ware some things which you call your attention. Firstly, keep in your mind that each good paragraph has at least 3 sentences inside with the cleae topic. Secondly, you should harness linking words appropriately to make your summary can move from a topic to another topic smoothly. The first sentence in your summary is to introduce about the title of the discussion and the speaker. After that, you mention the topic presented by the speaker. However, you don't forget to include suppurting idea. In the last sentence, you give a conclusion of the presentation.

I really believe you can show the better progress in the term. You only need practice more and more..
Keep Spirit
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 13, 2016   #4
You have a good summary
I have some correction

... miserable condition called divorce, eventually. in the end.

The speaker has described several impacts of divorce into... For the examples,

Maybe between one paragraph to others must be relational for reader can follow that summary. And the last paragraph can be added a few words.

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