Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

TOEFL: IMPACT OF INTERNET on LIFE


Mai Chu 14 / 17 1  
Feb 6, 2013   #1
8. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Internet can be regarded as one of the world most important invention which brings numerous impacts on people's life. Some people may show their reasons for the negative effects brought by Internet. However, I personally believe that the advent of Internet has civilized positively our way of living, both physically and mentally

Firstly, Internet brings us the physical impacts by simplifying life. Nowadays, everything can be done easily with the services supplied on the Internet which include the online shopping, news providing and even weather forecast online. People can be found in the street, taking with them the Ipad with Internet connection to catch all the latest news, instead of hurrying to find a new hard copy paper. There will be no tired of looking for a bottle of milk in a giant supermarket, women can stay at home and do all their shopping online, which is much time-saver. What is more? Internet will satisfy all the commands given by just a simple gesture - a click on the mouse. In short, the first advantage of Internet can be seen widely in our daily life.

Secondly, emotional effects can also be counted. With the advent of Internet, people are more likely to connect with each other, regardless of the time and distance. So many software like skype, yahoo messenger have been developed to match with the demand of Internet users. Social network such as Facebook is also an good example. Friends or family members can connect freely through this platform by simply updating the statuses, posting pictures and writing notes about their feeling. Not only strengthening the intimacy of people, Internet also provides us with a wide range of entertainment services to delight our days. Hence, youtube, game online can be strong cases to illustrate.

In summary, numerous impacts brought by the Internet will enhance its strong position in future. People will live a life with better physical and mental care.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Feb 6, 2013   #2
The Internet can be regarded as one of the world's most important inventions which brings numerous impacts on people's life.

.... good start but the latter part has a problem. This is my suggestion;
The Internet can be regarded as one of the world's most important inventions that made the biggest impact on the lives of people.

Some people may show their reasonsconcerns overfor the negative effects broughtcaused by the Internet.

show concern / have reasons

However, I personally believe that the advent of the Internet has civilizedimpacted positively on our way of living, both physically and mentally

... "civilize" means make someone more refined in terms of socially and culturally. So it is not the appropriate word to use here.
Though you have some little issues with sentences, your introduction follows good structure :)

Firstly, the Internet brings us the physical impacts by simplifying life.

....hmmmmmm "physical impacts" sounds a bit odd.
First, the Internet benefits us by offering simplified solutions to our lives.
OP Mai Chu 14 / 17 1  
Feb 6, 2013   #3
Yeah, thank you. I'm trying to use a variety of words, and sometimes, it turns out to be a weird :(
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Feb 7, 2013   #4
Internet can be regarded as one of the world most important invention which brings numerous impacts on people's life.

Good start. But you need to bring out the idea clearly and powerfully.
The Internet can be regarded as one of the most important inventions in history, and it has changed the lives of everyone on the planet.

Nowadays, everything can be done easily with the services supplied on the Internet which include the online shopping, news providing and even weather forecast online.

Nowadays, anything could be done online. Shopping, banking, you can even check out the news as it happens on the Internet. ...This sounds a little less formal but I think it would be more interesting to read.

I noticed that you use "the" in some inappropriate places. :(

Overall I like the essay. :)


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: IMPACT OF INTERNET on LIFE