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IELTS 2 - The importance of age among candidates for crucial positions in governments


roseat88 1 / -  
Sep 25, 2019   #1
TOPIC: Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government,while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

young or elderly state leaders?



It has long been argued whether the age matters or not when it comes to judging the suitability of a young men occupying crucial positions in governments. In my opinion, the advantages definitely outweigh disadvantages.

By recruiting young people, the public sectors may benefit in many ways. Foremost, the young generation will introduce new ideas and knowledge to institutions, boosting innovative and creative solutions to long-existing organizational problems. In particular, the governments around world, facing rapidly changing environment caused by technological development, are in an urgent need to have more young people take part in public affairs. Furthermore, being in charge of important tasks provides young people with opportunities to sharpen their professional skills and build up confidence, urging them to take on greater responsibility.

Some people are concerned that these young officials may pose higher risk on governments' decision-making and policy actions because they are inexperienced and immature in mental term. However, these drawbacks can be overcome by promoting team work within organization. The experienced and well-functioned bureaucratic system has the ability to support young leaders to plan and execute policies correctly.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the young people with great potential should get a chance to act as high-level officials. With their participation, governments are becoming more responsive and resilient in dealing with challenges encountered.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Sep 26, 2019   #2
@roseat88
Welcome. We always love having new people join the forum. If any of this feedback resonates with you, don't hesitate to approach us for more insight into the writing.

Firstly, I commend how structured and efficient your writing style is. This certainly can be appreciated by the people who would evaluate your essay. Your arguments and related opinions were also well-balanced throughout the writing.

What I would recommend to improve your writing would be to utilize more straightforward and concrete examples throughout. Taking a look at your second and third paragraph, while there was nothing generally wrong about the content, you needed to add more practical examples that'll clearly demonstrate your writing in a more efficient format.


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