Biodiversity importance is being more widely recognized as increasing the numbers of species under threat.
It is really alike with the prompt, even so you really need to paraphrase the sentence.
In this essay I'll argue some suggestions introduced.
IELTS essay is comprised academic writing, meaning that you have to avoid using contractions on yours
no people can live there as it may contain dangerous animals to be lived with
i think this sentence does not relate to the topic that you are asked to discuss and also in the paragraph you placed.
In body paragraph, you can emphasize your idea by using example rather than add additional idea that seems like need more explanation to deliver.
In conclusion, you can paraphrase your thesis statement and main ideas so that it can finalize your thoughts.
hope it helps you