TOPIC: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss.
Leisure time is much important for all humans, because every one need to release their stress of work and everyday life. Personally, I am using my free time for relaxing and listening music, because I am a job holder and I need to have keep my limbs freely and I need refresh my mind, but leisure time can be used for various reasons.
Some people like to have their free time by watching movies, reading or brows internet. These types of activities may be help to release their stress and they can refresh their mind. I have an experience about this situation, when I was studying my degree course, I liked to spend my free time for playing basket ball and cricket, because I need to keep my physical fitness in good condition.
Job is another factor, which also effect our leisure time. Software Engineer, for example, he has been spending his work until complete of his target or software. Hence, he wants to siting in front of his computer and need to program his software and he needs to directly face to computer screen log time. Then, end of the working day he would like to have relax in a comfortable chair.
Working place also may effect our leisure time. People, who work in indoors, they like to have their leisure time in outdoors also reverse same for the outdoor workers. I am job holder in a university and all the time I am working in my room, so I like to visit beautiful places and stay with listening music.
Person condition also depend on their free time activities. Pregnant mothers, patients they like to have rest during the free times. Elderly people, who like to read books, listening radio, watch television etc.,
In conclusion, people would like to spend their leisure time by choosing best for them. This is depending on their work, job, condition etc,. In my opinion is, it needs to be helped to our future success.
It seems a bit too simple to me, each pargraph is only about the most 4 sentences. You are getting to the point which is great but it needs more meat on the bone. You dont have to go into great detail but explained more of the type of lesiures activities and write how they made you feel and why you considered them realaxing to you. And you are also jumping from subject to subject, your essay doesnt flow. You can talk about different things but just make sure that it flows togther. also you might want to change
and I need to have keep my limbs loose and limber and my mind refresh and clear, so i can multitask my leisure time for various activities.
I hope this helps.
I'll make some corrections. You have a few bad habits, to please type each line below a few times to practice.
Leisure time is
much important for all humans, because everyone needs to...
...and listening to music, because I am...
Capitalize Internet. It's a proper noun.
I have an experience
about this situation to illustrate this truth. When I was studying in my degree course, I liked to spend my free time for playing basketball and cricket, because I needed to keep my physical fitness. in good condition.
One's job is another factor which can affect leisure time.
A software engineer, for example, has been working until the completion of his target or software.
Hence, he wants to
siting sit in front of his computer and directly face the screen for a long time.
A person's health condition also determines their free time activities.