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Which is More Important, Building an Impressive Buildings or Improving Inhabitant's Facilities?


aniani 20 / 20 13  
Oct 5, 2015   #1
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


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Several humans believe that a great and amazing structures are necessary for every town. Whereas other argue that it is more important to spend more money for building an educational facilities and health facilities. This essay will discuss both points of view. But in my opinion, it is more useful to spend money for improving schools and hospitals.

Related to large and impressive building for a city, I think it is important to build it in a city, because the building can attract many tourists to go to that city, and also it will bring a lot of benefits for the city. For example, Burj Khalifa, the highest building in the world, can catch many individuals to attend it and talk about it in every region. Then, an unique building always become a landmark of the town, it can be an icon to advertise anything in the town.

However, I do not argue that these argument is more useful than improving schools and hospitals. The first reason is that it will be more beneficial, because if we build or improve schools, it will increase the quality of education and also if we fix the health facilities, it can make inhabitant more healthier. Then, improving school and hospitals can show that the country or the city resposible to its population and its future. Because a good education will bring a good human resource which will develop the city. Therefore, again, building an educational and health facilities are better than impressive construction.

To conclude, despite some mankinds believe that building a big and unusual structure is important to the urban, I would argue that there are sufficient motivations to fix up educational and health facilities for a better future and more useful for every local people.

JIDA 8 / 6 4  
Oct 5, 2015   #2
Several humans believe that a great and amazing structures are necessary for every town. Whereas other argue that it is more(than what?) important to spend more money for building an educational facilities and health facilities. This essay will discuss both points of view. ButOn the other hand, in my opinion, it is more useful to spend money for improving schools and hospitals.

do not use transition word "BUT" in the beginning of a sentence in more formal writing.

However, I do not argue that these argument is more useful than improving schools and hospitals. The first reason is that it will be more beneficial, because if we build or improve schools, it will increase the quality of education and also ifwhen we fix the health facilities, it can make inhabitant more healthier. Then, improving school and hospitals can show that the country or the city resposible to its population and itstheir future. Because a good education will bring a good human resource which will develop the city. Therefore, again, building an educational and health facilities are better than impressive construction.

keep writing Ani !
ochio 13 / 10 5  
Oct 11, 2015   #3
- I think it is important to build it in a city, because the building can attract many tourists to go to that city, and also it will bring a lot of benefits for the city.

You need to present your essay with more formal tone. 'to go to that city' I would suggest you to replace 'go' verb

-Burj Khalifa, the highest building in the world, whichcan catch many individuals to attend it and talk about it in every regionall over the world . Then, an unique building always becomebecomes a landmark of the town, it can be an icon to advertise anything in the town.

- you use 'building an educational and health facilities' phrases multiple times. it will be good if you find other words which have same meaning


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