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GRE essay: Many important discoveries or creations are accidental


asdsa111 1 / -  
Aug 14, 2014   #1
Instruction: Many important discoveries or creations are accidental: it is usually while seeking the answer to one question that we come across the answer to another.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


Important discoveries and creations are defined as discoveries and creations that have significant impacts on the society. Some people would argue many important discoveries are accidental, such as dynamite, while some would argue many important discoveries or creations are on purposes, such as iPhone and theory of relativity. I believe many important discoveries or creations are not by accidental, because the important discoveries and creations are intended to attack one or few problems.

One example that the important creations are not accidental is iPhone. iPhone is developed by Steve Jobs and staffs in Apple Inc., which is not developed by accident. iPhone has completely changed the mobile phone market, the applications of mobile phone, and our perspectives to mobile phone. The creation and development of iPhone has been focusing on the economic growth of Apple Inc., which is the problem that Steve Jobs wants to answer.

Other than iPhone, the theory of relativity is also a good example to show the important discoveries are not accidental. The theory of relativity is proposed by Albert Einstein when he is trying to answer questions in quantum mechanics. He has done many experiments in order to come up with the theory. Therefore, the theory is addressing questions in quantum mechanics, and Einstein has spent significant effort and time to complete the theory, so the formation of the theory of relativity is not accidental.

In coclusion, the important discoveries and creations are not accidental. From the instances of iPhone and the theory of relativity, they have shown the important discoveries and creations are intended for attacking some specific problems in the society or in some fields.

Your comments and thoughts are very beneficial to my future writing, and I will be greatly appreciate your comments. Thanks.

Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Aug 17, 2014   #2
You use the same words too much! Use the synonims of these words or paraphrase. Or try say it in a different way! Because, it makes your essay too boring and verbal!

You have very good ideas. But remember: Elegant ideas deserve elegant expression.

Good luck!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 26, 2014   #3
Important discoveries and creations are defined as discoveries and creations that have significant impacts on the society.

This is not a strong hook as it does not contain much meaning :(
Some people would argue that most of thesemany important discoveries are accidental, such as dynamite, while some others would argue many important discoveries or creations are onthat had been discovered or created for serving specific purposes, such as iPhone and theory of relativity. I believe many important discoveries or creations are not by mere accidentsaccidental , because theyimportant discoveries and creations are intended to attacksolve one or few problems.

You use the same words too much!

Yes, you repeatedly use "many important discoveries or creations"


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