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What is most important factor affect the characteristics of a person?


nguyenannhon 5 / 2  
Nov 20, 2007   #1
Topic:
"Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the most major influence?"


Please help me to review and modify my below essay.

Thank you very much for your help,
Nhon

My essay:
In recent years, there are many researches related to the characteristics of people have been launched by the groups over the world. Some researchers reported that people are not influenced by the outside environment but the most major factor is the DNA inherited from their parents. However, in my opinion, this result does not sound correct for the below reasons.

Firstly, it is obviously that education does influence people on their personality and development. As can be seen from any newspapers, most of the serious criminals are uneducated people regardless where they were born, who their parents are. In addition, there are many criminals became good people after a couple of years educated in jail. With this reason, we parents should not discriminate our kids' friends just because he or she was born in a bad family because we can help them become better.

Secondly, I believe that the outside environment will affect people who live in that area. For example, children who were brought up in the countryside and cities have different characteristics even though they were born in the same place. Furthermore, adults also are influenced by their surrounding people. Let me as an example, when I first met my wife, we are quite different students because I was born in a small province while she was born and grew up in a big city. However, our characteristics are nearly the same after ten year communicate to each other.

To sum up, I think people are born with their own characteristics but they were changed by their education, living environment. As a result of this, everyone should always try his/her best to become a better person regardless whether his/her families was good of bad.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Nov 20, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a good essay! Because it's short, I made some editing changes for you. See what you think:

In recent years, researchers all over the world have been studying the causes of human characteristics. Some researchers reported that people are not primarily influenced by the outside environment but rather that the major factor is the DNA inherited from their parents. However, in my opinion, this result does not sound correct for the following reasons.

Firstly, it is obvious that education does influence people in their personality and development. As can be seen from any newspaper, most serious criminals are uneducated people, regardless of where they were born or who their parents are. In addition, many criminals became good people after a couple of years of rehabilitation and education in jail. For this reason, we parents should not discriminate against our kids' friend just because he or she was born in a bad family, because we can help them become better.

Secondly, I believe that the outside environment will affect people who live in an area. For example, children who were brought up in the countryside have different characteristics from those growing up in cities, even though they were born in the same place. Furthermore, adults also are influenced by the people around them. As an example, when I first met my wife, we are quite different students because I was born in a small province while she was born and grew up in a big city. However, our characteristics are nearly the same after ten years of communicating with each other.

To sum up, I think people are born with their own characteristics but they were changed by their education and living environment. As a result of this, everyone should always try his or her best to become a better person, regardless of family background.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP nguyenannhon 5 / 2  
Nov 20, 2007   #3
Thank you very much for your quick respond.
Thanks again,
Nhon


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