TOEFL Essay,"It is important to know about current events.."

Hi,

Do you agree or disagree with the following sentence.
It is important to know about the events happening in the world, even though it is unlikely to affect your daily life.
Making ourselves aware about current news in the world is the need of an hour. World is changing very fast. It is necessary to know about the events happening in the world. This helps us to find out what is good and what is bad for us. Knowing about current news helps us in many ways.

Firstly, as a student, taking current news is the part of my study, because general knowledge is the common subject of many competitive exams, entrance exams, and interviews. We have to be familiar with all the events happening around us. It is not only help in our study, but also in our personal life. For example, technology has developed a lot and is developing day by day. Daily new advanced technologies are introduced by inventors. We must have knowledge about these new inventions. Computer and internet is the best invention of the century. Knowledge about these helps us in our day to day life. For example, if we want to buy a new laptop and we know which one is best and advanced then, we can decide quickly which one to buy.

In addition, competition has increased a lot and is increasing day by day. It is necessary to get ourselves updated to stand in today's competitive world. Keeping knowledge about current news helps us to avoid mistakes. For example, Newspaper, Online news and TV news inform us about Global Warming. We can take care after knowing the dangerous effects of Global Warning. Like this, there are many other news which we can take from news and protect ourselves from dangers.

Finally, it is not possible to take all news from all over the world in today's fast paced world, but we can take the important ones. No matter, that is going to effect on our life or not. We should take these for knowledge.

Thanks,
Ana.

Ana, I like to say two things. First, I find most of your writing very indirect like the first sentence here. Second, you are using

same sentence structure in majority of your writing. It makes monotonus. Add some colors in writing. How? I will give example; you can connect the first and second sentence,

As world is changing very fast, making ourselves aware about current news is the need of an hour.
I told earlier that your first sentence is indirect. It does not give enough PUNCH or strength to your saying. how about writing it differently, for example;

It is the need of an hour to make ourselves aware about current news.
Just an idea!


I have some suggestion about the topic. your reason is based on onlu one points. you can add some more reasons like;
# news makes us aware what is going on in other area of the world. We can schedule, modify our travel plans or vacation watching news.

if there is bad weather or natural calamities going on or unsafe to travel etc.

# Knowing things makes us smart. It helps in social interaction and academic performance.

You have written a good essay. Use of transitional word correctly.

In addition, competition has increased a lot and is increasing with every passing day .

Keep it up.