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It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if they won't affect you


diligentwriter 3 / 3  
Sep 28, 2017   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.


it's good to be informed in this world



The question whether it is necessary to be aware of the events which are unlikely to affect your daily life is widely discussed. Some think we should only focus on the news happening around us. However, I agree it is essential to care about the events around the world for the following reasons.

Firstly, we are living in the global village that every event may end up influencing us to certain degree. That is to say, we are all in part of the events when something happens and we have nowhere to escape. For example, financial crisis breaking in the U.S. in 2008 causes whole world into recession. I still remember I sat at couch and thought it was not our business as I heard the news. It turns out financial crisis indeed impact my country a lot. Many people lost their jobs and a few banks went bankrupt.

Secondly, we can be obsolete if we turn a blind eye on what happens around the world. It is easy to be replaced and outpaced if we only concern the thing happening around us. The history of China is a good example to support this idea. Back around two hundred years, China was one of the most advanced countries around the world. It sold best products such as silks and tea to western countries. At this period, Chinese were so proud of themselves that they denied knowing and learning from other countries. This causes their technology to stagnate. Without the latest technology, China could not upgrade their weapons, eventually being invaded by other nations.

Last but not least, we are not supposed to divide among different people based on races or places where they live because we are all human beings. When something bad occurring, it is everyone's duty to stand for and fight against it. For instance, there is a terrible genocide in the north of Myanmar in the recent months. Even it is far away from where I live and it may not cause any effect on my daily life in the short term, I feel obliged to do something to help those in suffer out. It is mainly because those events are matter of justice and we are not supposed to be indifferent.

In short, I strongly think we should pay attention to events happening around the world. The reasons are that everyone affect one another to some extent, we should keep pace with new trends, and we are all human beings.

I know my composition is a little subjective and provocative. But that is the only way I can write the number of words prompt asks.....

ANYWAY thanks alot for reading my article

haotran 2 / 6 1  
Sep 28, 2017   #2
Your essay is really impressive with an effective format as well as a high level of vocabulary. However, there are some grammatical errors:

the financial crisis breaking in the U.S. in 2008 caused the whole world into recession

It turned out a financial crisis that indeed impacted my country a lot

the best products

This caused their technology to stagnate
Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Sep 28, 2017   #3
Sheanen, it is okay to be provocative if it will help your essay discussion. The problem is, your examples are too old to be of relevance in the current state of the world. In order to create a better understanding of the prompt discussion, you should have used more current information regarding world events. You should not use historical references as those are irrelevant already (China is now a world leader) and will be unknown to reviewer or already forgotten (The Euro crash would have been a better example as that is fairly recent). Therefore, your desire to be controversial backfired in this instance. Your examples are weak and hard to connect with the current events, which is what the essay wanted you to discuss. This is not about a history lesson, this is about your knowledge of current events and sadly, you failed to show that you are capable of referring to more appropriate and relevant discussions in relation to the prompt. That is the reason why you essay score could suffer, depending upon the smaller scoring considerations that the examiner may have.
hailung 6 / 18 2  
Sep 28, 2017   #4
Firstly, we are living in the global village that every event may end up influencing us to certain degree. That is to say, we are all in part of the events when something happens and we have nowhere to escape. For example, financial crisis breaking in the U.S. in 2008 causes whole world into recession. I still remember I sat at couch and thought it was not our business as I heard the news. It turns out financial crisis indeed impact my country a lot. Many people lost their jobs and a few banks went bankrupt.

I do not think that using "I" is acceptable in an IELTS or TOEFT essay.

"a few" otherwise means some, small amount but enough, so did you mean many companies went bankrupt


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