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IELTS-GT: it's important for parents to teach their children about the importance of money


Naveed786 8 / 21 4  
Mar 23, 2014   #1
Dear Friends,
I am preparing for IELTS and want to improve my writing skills. Could you please review my essay from all perspective including task response, lexical resources, grammar etc.

"Some say it is important for parents to teach their children about the importance of money. Why and how should they do it? Include examples from your own experience".

In today's world, money plays a vital role in the life of each and every individual person. Spending money takes a minute; whereas when it comes to earn money, it actually takes significant time and effort. The society; we are living, is full of many enchanting and fascinating things which draw strong and quick children's attention and make them spend money uselessly. As a parent, it becomes our first and foremost duty to our children to guide them towards the correct and useful methods for spending money.

First of all, many of us would agree to the fact that parental guidance is extremely important in the life of children while they are being brought up in monetary society. As a parent, the principles and the values we induce in our children's moral and character, will always remain in their personality and rest of the life. The way todays world's economy is progressing, day by day it is becoming difficult for the most of the people to earn money and spend for the betterment of the family. I know some parents who are hand to mouth in their lives and cannot afford to fulfill all the needs of their children. For Instance, they cannot buy their children a bicycle or a computer that their children can use yet the only thing they could do is to afford sending their children school for obtaining education. When such children observe other rich class kids they become tempted with their status and insist their parents to have the facilities like elite class children's have. However, if parents of such children guide them properly by making them understand the importance of money which is required to be spent on crucial and necessary things, such children would become familiar with true requirements, and help their parents and themselves by not spending money on unimportant things.

Moreover, there is a saying "Cut your coat, according to your cloth. I strongly agree with the saying and believe that this must be taught to our children. Parents must set certain principles and apply them in their children's life. They must not encourage them on spending money uselessly on buying things which are not necessarily required for them. For Instance, when I was a child, my parents used to give me a fixed pocket money of Rs 500 per month. I was told that I had to manage my shopping with in this amount that included buying toys, toffees, sports related items. I always managed to live my life with in the given amount, and now when I have grown up and being earning a fixed amount of salary, I am quite happily managing my life with in my earned amount of salary. I am always thankful to my parents for inducing such values in my life.

To conclude, I would say that children are stubborn and innocent by nature and it is parent's responsibility to mold them in such a way that they understand the importance of money and do not spend money uselessly and carelessly. In this ways, they would lead their future life beautifully and comfortably.

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Mar 23, 2014   #2
Naveed786

Few cents from my side

1. Essay is quite lengthy - 519 words. Save your time and yourself from mistakes. Try not to go beyond 300 words. Remember you will be given only 40 minutes to complete task 2.

2. Focus on punctuation rules to avoid losing marks unnecessarily. Google grammarbook+punctuation_rules. External links are not allowed.
3. Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 23, 2014   #3
there is a saying "Cut your coat

In IELTS, you'd better avoid using idioms or sayings which either state the obvious or seem out place in an essay where a formal viewpoint is being systematically developed.

Many students think the memorization of the perfect phrase is much more acceptable.Therefore they use even exam situation. And to tell you the truth this doesn't impress the assessors at all because this phrase can be categorized as 'memorized languages' . You may get penalised.


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