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Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences?


Klaracc 1 / -  
Aug 3, 2021   #1

The demand for attractive appearance



In recent years, the number of fast fashion trends has rapidly grown. Sales of cosmetics and clothes are increasing at a dramatic speed. Most people tend to spend more and more money on physical things, which can change their appearance. There are some clinics doing plastic surgeries for people to change their natural outlook. This essay will discuss my viewpoint and some results of this phenomenon.

To become as charming as those celebrities on programs, buying lots of trending clothes or using make-up products seems to be a current. But there shall we take the outlook so much? In my view, how we look should not be such a critical issue in daily life. Of course, we ought to be clean and tidy, which could make a positive first impression. But that would later alter by the words and deeds, reflecting the connotation such as knowledge and manner.

A fair amount of people paying innumerable concentrations on their outlook and comparing to those idols on the advertisements or series. This might lead to a lack of self-esteem, self-demanding, and negative thoughts. Some of the severe situations are even causing depression and affecting the ability to live an ordinary life.

In conclusion, in my opinion, the acquisition of not viewing their semblances as the most crucial elements in their lives is an eventful lesson for everybody now. The demand for attractive facial appearance or in trend outfits may cause some negative impacts - loss of confidence - or even worse, unable to live a regular daily life (e.g. depression).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Aug 4, 2021   #2
The writer failed to identify if this is an IELTS task 2 essay or a mere writing exercise. It is difficult for me to give targeted advise when I have noidea what my review targets are. Kindly indicate that next time.

Regardless of what the purpose of the writing s, the first paragraph neeas to have clear discussion topics. The writer needed to present direct answers to the questions to meet that reqqucement. Without it, the say does not have a clear thesis basis / statement. The discussion direction and topics need to established in the first paragraph / introduction.

These discussions should not contain rhetorical questions because those are unnecessary content fillers. Do not keep repeating discussion points. That does not add clarity or more the discussion forward.

Do not include an afterthought example in the conclusion. The conclusion is just a recap. so added information is not necessary.


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