Human risk-taking attitude
It is obvious that risk-taking is inevitable when making decisions but most people have a tendency not to take risks in their lives. In my opinion, despite taking hazards may have some negative aspects, I believe they are outweighed by the opportunities of taking risks.
To begin with, when making risky decisions, several problems can be anticipated.
The chance of loss should be considered because any risks can bring unexpected consequences in life. The reason is that not everyone has the ability to handle the arising issues after risking their property or time to achieve something. As a result, such failures can reduce motivation, wealth, and prestige. For example, employees quitting their positions attempt to set up their own enterprises but this may lead to various challenges. Therefore, it is inevitable to go out of business if they do not have enough expertise or financial prowess.
On the other hand, it is obvious that risk-taking can materialize one's dream. Individuals being content with their positions in society usually lose the chance to actualize their potential. For example, accepting a more challenging job recommendation may lead to one's career advancement. The new position may acquire new knowledge and skills, but these are the main keys to contributing to one's personal growth. Obviously, the more ambitious the decision, the greater the rewards.
Moreover, even when people can not achieve their goals after taking risks, failure will still be a valuable lesson for them to be able to cope with the upcoming challenges.
In conclusion, risk-taking brings merits, albeit fifty-fifty percent of the success. I still hold my view that the potential hazards are outweighed by the upside.
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The prompt restatement is inaccurate because it does not refer to the original discussion. Rather it offers an immediate discussion based on the writer's personal opinion. By indicating that something is "obvious" when it was not stated as such in the original prompt, the examiner will realize that the author has made an error in restating the topic, which led to the incorrect and failing interpretation of the original text. That will cause an accuracy failure in the preliminary score.
As far as the actual response opinion, it is acceptable and direct to the point even though the grammar used is not very strong. However, it does not present the professional and personal benefit / advantage of taking risks as a part of the required short topic discussion presentation. The opinion presentation is incomplete which will not be good for the accuracy score of that section either.
ESL students always make the mistake of using the phrase "On the other hand" without first referring to "On the one hand". this is grammatically incorrect and confuses the reader, which will have a negative GRA effect. The writer tried to do a good job of explaining himself but his incorrect transition methods are what affected that score. The paragraph transitions cause confusion for the reader, which leads to several readings of unclear text.
The stand alone 4th paragraph is unnecessary in this discussion as well. The standard format for an A/D essay is 4 paragraphs, not 5. 5 paragraphs compose the optional format of the discuss both views + personal opininion presentation. The writer shows that he does not have a clue about how to properly format Task 2 essays so he should work on that familarization early on. Response format correctness is vital to the final score of the task 2 essay.