Every year several languages die out. Some people think it is not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is not uncommon that many aboriginal languages are struggling on the brink of extinction every year. Some people concern that the measures of keeping them alive not necessarily make sense, therefore, it is no longer important to prevent the extinction of languages. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this viewpoint.
It is true that a large sum of money may useless in lowering the speed of languages' extinction. Today, fewer people are willingness to studying a language which is spoken by several thousand people. In spite of aboriginal people, the youngsters tend to study English, a universal language, instead of their own language because of easier communication with other people. Consequently, these languages would die out when the old generations pass away in some decades. Even though the government allocates lots of money in prevention, the outcome may not satisfy as well.
However, it doesn't mean that the action for prevention is meaningless. As one of the essential parts of local culture, the boom of local language will accelerate the local economic development. If the local have realized the economic benefits the language brings, more local people will eager to learn the aboriginal language. In this way, the local language could survive under enough emphasis. Furthermore, language diversity may damage if several languages die out. This is rather serious as these extinct languages would not revive despite of any method.
Therefore, it is quite significant to keep all the languages survive, practically the endangered one. We must clearly realize that the language plays an important role in our culture.
As you totally disagree with the topic, I think you should state more about the importance of language diversity. But in your second part, you are still talking about the background, therefore the only persuasive cotent comes from the 3rd paragraph. Then the whole passage doesn't sound that convincing.
my advice is that you could summarise part of the background into the beginning paragraph, and then add one more paragraph to further illustrate the importance of the language diversity, or the drawback of English's domination. In this way your essay would be more persuasive.
Good luck with your test.
It is not uncommon =>apparent(To be more powerful, it would be better to use active mode than passive mode) that many aboriginal languages are struggling on the brink of extinction every year. Some people concern that the measures of keeping them alive not necessarily make sense, therefore, it is no longer important to prevent the extinction of languages. => To some people, certain measures of keeping language alive are useless, therefore, it is worthless to make effort to prevent the extinction of languages From my perspective, I completely disagree
with(agree with somebody; agree something) this viewpoint.
I am confused at one point of Sun's comment, and just checked.
"agree sth." is more British, and "agree on sth." is more common.