Hi, I am preparing for the IBT TOEFL test. Please read my writing and give me some advice. It will help me a lot. Thank you very much.
Do you want a bigger house? Of course, almost everyone wants. Then giving you a bigger house, but you have to care for a bear, do you still want it? Humans have occupied so much land for agriculture, factories and house building that thousands of animals lose their homes or parts of their homes. Please leave some space for the animals, if not, someday in the future, we will find the only animal on the land is humans.
We have done so many mistakes that many kinds of animal has disappeared for the earth. If we had thought more about other species, we hadn't lost lots of our neighbors. West Africa lion, white wolf, West Asia tiger, a huge number of animals are extinct. Also, there are still numerous animals being extinct. Could we just give them a bigger "house" for surviving. Though we have language, science, technology, culture, even we can change the world, human and other animals are equal in nature. We have destroyed their habitats. We have eaten their meat. We have worn their hide. Let us just leave a space for their home.
One day, when the spring comes, there is no birds, no ducks, no butterflies, even no mouse around us. Then we will have a silent spring. It is too late for us to regret what we have done. So, just do what we can do nowadays. Reserve the land for the endangered animals. I wish it is just a beginning of animal protecting. Only when we see the animals as important as we are, do we have hopes that our offspring will see the spring as we do.
Therefore, human beings have the abilities to change the world. To some extent, whether the animals in danger will survive or die depends on what we will do. To reserve land for animals is just the first step, and to help the animals coexist peacefully with humans is the final purpose.
Of course, almost everyone wants that .
Please leave some space for the animals.I f not, someday in the future, we will find the only animals on the earth are humans.
We have made so many mistakes that many kinds of animal have disappeared from the earth.
If we had thought more about other species, we wouldn't have lost lots of our neighbors.
West Africa lion, white wolf, West Asia tiger...a huge number ofso many animals are extinct.
Also, there are still numerous animals on the verge of extinction .
One day, when the spring comes, there will be no birds, no ducks, no butterflies, not even a single mouse around us.
Well, I don't if you want to say almost everyone wants a bigger house; not all people are like that. I am not a great editor-
By giving you a bigger house, you have to care for a bear, do you still want it?
Humans have taken so much land for agriculture, factors, and houses that thousands of animals have lost their home or parts of their home as a result.
-I think it sound more like that. I don't know I think it needs a better command of language there.
A transition word is needed in the last sentence of the intro. You could also break it up into a couple sentences. I do get what you are saying though.
