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It is important to respect authority but only if it not violate your own freedom


npuri11 1 / -  
Jul 9, 2014   #1
These are 25 minute essays, usually graded by two graders on a scale from 1 to 6, for a combined score from 2 to 12.

It is important to respect and revere authority, but only till the extent at which authority does not encroach upon your own freedom. A lot can be gained, including knowledge and experience, from those in higher power. But when our attitude towards authority figures shifts from one of admiration to subservience, we must begin to reconsider our actions.

The country of India had been ruled by Great Britain for almost 200 years until its eventual independence in 1947. In the early 1700s, India was barely a nation - instead it consisted of a multitude of disjointed kingdoms ruled by Maharajas. When British colonizers came to India, toting along their superior weapons and technology, all the Maharajas gave in, and India turned into one unified nation under the rule of Great Britain. For over a century, the region prospered. From its colonizers it learned new and improved methods of farming and industry, while the British were able to engage in trade of India's exotic exports. However, approaching the 1900s, the British began to overstay their welcome. Instead of engaging in fair trade, they began to loot. India was left in shambles and disunity. They began to lose respect for what had once been a beneficial authoritative figure. After half a century of protests and bloodshed, the nation of India gained independence from an authority that had begun to encroach upon their rights and freedom.

A similar yet fictional defiance of authority occurs in the play "Othello" by William Shakespeare. Othello and his wife Desdemona live in a male-dominated European society, making Othello a figure of authority over his wife Desdemona. Both share a mutual affection for each other, and as a result, Othello defies the norm by placing his wife in a position of high regard. But when the evil Iago fabricates a story of Desdemona's affair with the general Cassio, Othello is consumed with animalistic madness. All love and respect he had for his wife is lost as he begins to abuse his male authority and belittles and hurts Desdemona. Desdemona, as a result, goes against the social norm. In order to maintain her wellness, she flees from Othello. When the authority begins to encroach upon her personal freedom, she realizes that she must defy it.

Authoritative figures can be an excellent source of guidance and advice, possibly even affection. Yet when authority begins to overstep its bounds, when your personal freedom and wellness is harmed, it is necessary that authority be defied.

Thanks for taking the time to help me. This is my first SAT essay I've ever written, and I wanted some feedback.

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 13, 2014   #2
It is good to know the purpose of writing this essay. Is this for IELTS or TOEFL? Or any other assignment? If you specify the purpose in the title itself then others get a better understanding about the task and provide you with more task related comments.

It is important to respect and revere authority, but only tillto the extent at which authority does not encroach upon your own freedom.

It is important to respect and revere authority, but only till the extent at which authority does not encroach upon your own freedom. A lot can be gained, including knowledge and experience, from those in higher power.

I like if you have a better link between the two sentences. The second one sounds a bit detached from the first.


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