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TOEFL:What is a important skill to succeed in life.


tippabim 3 / 6 1  
Sep 23, 2013   #1
What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Accomplishment is the supreme goal of every person in this world. Many vital characteristics bring about success in our life. Personally, the most essential skill for person wanting to succeed is leadership skill because of three main following reasons.

First, the more we have leadership skill, the more we are distinctive among others. People who have great confidence always do everything effectively and easily to be impressed by their boss. I have been noticed that many successful person are charismatic which is one of the chief appearances especially Barack Obama, the president of America.

Secondly, If we have main talents of leader, we will be able to retrieve abilities from our co-worker. A person who has leadership skill will definitely know the great strategies to gather all competences from others in order to fulfill their objectives eventually. My cousin, Nui, he achieves his business and becomes rich nowadays since he knows how to pull his employees' potentials out which completely help his company has progressed till today.

Furthermore, without leadership skill, we tend to give up from tremendous obstacles easily. Everyone clearly knows that patience is a highest virtue of success and patience is one minor of this skill. My friend, Ball, he always endure to several enormous impediments even if he has to face a hard time. Consequently, he gains reliability from his boss and he will be promoted to grow up in his work.

Success in life is not too hard for a person who has all characteristics of chief. From my perspective, I truly believe that this skill will absolutely bring about triumph to our lives. Who will be able to deny the important of leadership skill?

Antonio Lu 1 / 6  
Sep 24, 2013   #2
Nice job! If I were a to toefl teacher, I will give you 23/30. Personally, I think the examples you describe should be more persuasive.
OP tippabim 3 / 6 1  
Sep 24, 2013   #3
Thank you for your suggestion. ^^
OP tippabim 3 / 6 1  
Sep 24, 2013   #4
Is it will be better if I demonstrate the examples of well-known persons?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 25, 2013   #5
Accomplishment is the supreme goal of every person in this world. Many vital characteristics bring about success in our life

I feel you need a better link between these two lines ( It seems you try to equal accomplishment and success, which are very very close in their meanings, but slightly different too - accomplishment is the successful achievement of a task, while success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. :D) .... Also they need a little refinement in aligning with your prompt too;

Success is the supreme goal of every human being. There are many vital skills that help one to be successful in life in today's world. ... the last two words help you align your writing with the prompt.
OP tippabim 3 / 6 1  
Sep 25, 2013   #6
It's very kind of you to give me the suggestions, Thank you a lot. ^^
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 25, 2013   #7
Here I see a fundamental error. Leadership is not just one skill, but a set of skills put together. For example, skills such as analytic, communication, attention to detail, PR etc. all sum up to form good leadership skills. So I doubt whether you are on right track. My feeling is that you need to pick one of those skills that help one to be a good leader.

First, the more we have leadership skill, the more we are distinctive among others.

First, the more we display leadership skills, the more we can stand out among others.


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