Why it is important to solve the homeless problem?

Hey everyone!

I just finish writing, but I did not meet the 3 full pages requirement i am at 2 pages right now
I need help to expand and feel free to help me with grammar errors etc...
thank you

Homelessness In The United States

According to an article in the New York Times magazine, about thirty-three percent of the United States population is homeless. I was astonished to read this article, that one-third of the population is homeless. It brought memories of the young man who has probably around the age of twenty-sevens, I met outside a gym building and asked me for some change. At the time, I did not have any money on me to give, so I felt bad. When I got home, I was thinking about him, being homeless at that age. So I did some research on why it is important to solve the homelessness problem in the United States. My findings led me to believe that, If the homelessness problem is not solved or at least moderated, it would lead to more aggressive panhandling, crimes, and spread of diseases.

Some homeless people are forced to panhandle stranger just to make it through the day.
Homeless people panhandle in different locations, such private businesses, public places, and residential areas. These activities are having an adverse effect on those locations. For example, private businesses will lose customers due to the aggressive panhandling. Public places such as libraries, the museum will also experience increased acts of panhandling. Residential areas also see more homeless people coming there to panhandle. The way to stop panhandling is providing more shelter and others programs that will help homeless people to get jobs and eventually become independent. Also, another problem is that of crimes.

Crimes such as robberies, physical fights among the homeless people, and illegal drug use are increasing. Robberies would increase as homeless people rob citizens and they are also victimized by younger criminals in a city where the crime rates are very high. Due to the fact that many shelters are over capacity, Many homeless people have no choice but to be outside. Being out there with no jobs, and no housing could affect homeless people adversely. So they start using illegal drugs for relief, and which makes them become drug addicts. Physical fights will increase and lead to deaths. As they struggle for territory and little resources. In addition to these problems, there are also health issues.

Diseases among homeless people can be easily transmitted to other people through water, air, and sex. Waterborne diseases will be transmitted through water fountains in public places. To reduce the spreading of these diseases, it is necessary to teach homeless people about the benefit of good hygiene. There are airborne diseases which will be transmitted in places such the subway and libraries. To prevent these disease from spreading, health officials should make sure that all homeless people are vaccinated. In addition, sexually transmitted diseases will be spread through reckless sexual activities. To address this problem homeless people should be provided and about the proper use of condoms. The public must also be informed about the danger of reckless sexual.

Aggressive panhandling, crimes, and disease will increase if the homeless problem in the United States is not solved or at least moderated. Communities will need to join together in order to help solve this problem.

Sissoko, you can expand this essay if you can manage to properly introduce the topic for the essay that you are writing. You lack a clear thesis statement and outline of discussion / discussion overview in the opening statement. If you can write a full paragraph that explains the problem that you will be discussing in the essay, the reason why you feel that it is important to call attention to this problem, the areas for discussion that you will be presenting in the essay, the possible solutions to the problem, why you believe that these solutions are important in eradicating the problem, and your personal opinion on the matter leading up too your closing statement, you will be able to add more information for discussion that should more than help you fill an extra page to meet the 3 page requirement of your essay. You have presented a pretty good discussion as of now. There is just a need to add information in order to create a more informed essay that can help educate the reader.

You may find yourself editing the current content of your essay to better fit with the additional information you will be presenting. That is a necessary edit or revision to the current version because the additional data will help to create a clearer picture for your discussion and allow you to present more supporting information to create a sound opinion of the topic you were asked to discuss.

@Holt
Thank you very much for the feedback, So when you say to write a paragraph that will briefly explain what i am writing about...
Write it in my introduction body paragraph?
So, I also need one more topic to expand it or should I just give more example

You should actually write a new introduction paragraph to add to the essay. Basically, you will adjust the paragraphs so that the current first paragraph will become the second paragraph instead. In every essay that you write, the most important presentation that you can make is the opening statement or introduction. That is the foundation for the whole essay. So if you don't write a good introduction, the whole essay may not turn out so well in terms of discussion for you. Such as in your case, you came up short with your writing right? That is because you have a weak opening statement. By strengthening that paragraph, you will be able to automatically expand upon and present various discussion topics in the succeeding paragraphs. You should offer more topics for discussion along with additional examples in order to create the most informative and understandable essay that you can.

@Holt
You're really good ! Now I understand why I was completely stuck. I will work on that right now, by having my new first paragraph more interesting and I thing from there it should be easy by following your advises.

Thank you very much ill let you know when i am done fixing the problems

You may also want to include in-text citations or quotes, properly referenced in your essay so that you can deliver even more accurate information in your essay. Using quotes to help explain your point helps to clarify the message or the paragraph as well. Have you tried writing a research essay that way before? Normally the citations also show the professor that you did a deep research on the topic and the information is accurate and not based on hearsay. For example, when you refer to the New York Times, you can include the actual quote from the report. This adding accuracy and word count in your essay. Which will directly contribute to fulfilling the 3 page requirement as well. Consider the posts of your paper where you can apply these quotes, if you wish to. See if you will like the end result of your essay presentation.