The first reason is that building more art museums and music performance centers can attract many tourists and develop the cities' tourism and increase financial revenues.
In this line, do you mean to talk about more than one city? If so, you did the right thing by putting the apostrophe after the s:
but when you talk about things belonging to only one city, you do this: city's
Your writing style shows that you have worked hard to learn English and that it is not your first language. It is very impressive for you to be able to write so well. The way you write is distinctive and unconventional. I like it!
Here is an error:
I remember seeing a series
of pictures drawn
by a six year-old girl in an art museum.
Very good job!
The first paragraph should end with a thesis statement that sums up the main idea of the essay. I want to suggest moving this sentence to the end of the first paragraph:
The advantages of building art museums and music performance centers may carry more weight than the advantages of investing money on recreational facilities.