After perusing the prompt, I conclude that the essay should be written to respond to the ideas: Money should be spent on impressive buildings or schools and hospitals
I add comments on the second paragraph: The second and third points have a repetition of the same ideas. This shows a weak paragraph . Instead of showing many ideas, it is always better giving one idea with one specific example.
an apostrophe shows possession.
folk which need more facilities
Inappropriate antecedent :(
I am not sure this word can be used as a concluding signal.