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Improving standards of living of developing countries through education?


milamiyamiila 2 / 2  
Jan 1, 2012   #1
12. Education is the single most important factor in the development of a developing country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Passport to Ielts)

I cannot totally agree that education is the only way for developing countries to improve their standards of living. Undoubtedly, education plays a crucial role both in the society and in the economy of any country. However, there are also several aspects which influence on development of the third world countries.

A lot of economists and scientist claim that economical and social well-being of any state depend on education, rooting out corruption, state of peace and good diplomatic relations with other countries.

In my opinion, education is not able to help to solve all problems facing developing countries, as demonstrated by republics of former Soviet Union or in other words Commonwealth of Independent States . Almost 99 per cent of adult and working-age population is literate and numerate. Former Soviet Republics have got the best system of education in the world. Students at school are broadly educated and the curriculums both at school and universities are very rich. Addition, there are world famous universities such as Lomonosov University, MIFI whose graduates are Nobel laureates. Nevertheless, one of the highest educational standards , most population of these countries hardly make ends meet and the minimum subsistence level is low.

In my view, that the main hindrance in developing Countries of Commonwealth of Independent States economies of is corruption. Moreover, some countries of these Republics are at war which also prevents their progress in the economy.

To summarize, education is a key factor which can stimulate the development of any country but at the same time there must be any wars, corruption must be uprooted, and good diplomatic relations must be settled.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Jan 1, 2012   #2
Hi I would like to review your essay:

I cannot totally agree that education is the only way for developing countries to improve their standards of living. Undoubtedly, education plays a crucial role both in the society and in the economy of any country. However, there are also several aspects which influence on development of the third world countries.

Excellent! This is a very intelligent inference.

A lot of economists and scientist claim that economical and social well-being of any state depend on education, rooting out corruption, state of peace and good diplomatic relations with other countries.

You have a good point- you could make two sentences out of this one really long one. Right here- rooting out corruption, state of peace and good diplomatic relations with other countries. You are a bit vague, these examples seem random, and "rooting out" sound odd. Re-word this and it will sound better.

Almost 99 per cent of adult and working-age population is literate and numerate.
You should make it more clear that this sentence refers to the soviet.

Nevertheless, one of the highest educational standards , most population of these countries hardly make ends meet and the minimum subsistence level is low.
Continue to make strong examples to support your example of the soviet. However, do not let this example consume your paper, tie these ideas in to the USA or any other country.

To summarize, education is a key factor which can stimulate the development of any country but at the same time there must be any wars, corruption must be uprooted, and good diplomatic relations must be settled.

This does not make sense, be sure to "wrap up" your paper with a strong, satisfying, conclusion. You don't need to say "To summarize"

Nice work, try to fix it up a bit, i hope that I helped by pointing out these things. good luck in school!


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